PREVIOUSLY ON "UGLY BETTY" (said by Alan Dale before his character potentially dies):

Wilhemina has been doing the horizontal tango with her bodyguard Dwayne, which Betty found out when she decided it was okay to break into the den of the she-devil to get the Book. Wilhemina bribed Betty with an offer to make her father a U.S. citizen, as long as Betty didn't tell Daniel about Dwayne. This failure to mention Wilhemina's affair is being billed as the ultimate betrayal to Daniel, although none of us viewers can figure out why. Wilhemina has done a lot worse that Bradford knows about and he is still head over heels, and anyway, Daniel lies to Betty at least once an episode. Meanwhile, Christina's drunk, unpleasant husband tracked her down through her Internet dating site Bachelorocity, and Marc really screwed it up with new boyfriend Cliff when he introduced him to Amanda as only "a friend." Last we saw, he was grovelling big time. Wilhemina has made Victoria Beckham her Maid of Honor, because ABC likes hiring big guest stars to generate PR buzz. Finally, Hilda tells Betty to make the most of the time she has to spend with Henry, but they both decide they should hide it from their dad. Betty takes the leap and shows up at Henry's door, and Team Henry and Betty fans everywhere pass out in shock when they realize what is going to happen behind closed doors.

THIS EPISODE:

Justin is watching the countdown to the "Bradelmina" wedding on boob tube. Their couple name is "Bradelmina"? I really dislike combined couple names, sorry to all readers who use them, and the ickiness of this one just reinforces to me how much this match is not supposed to happen. When Ignacio, rightly, asks why Justin isn't getting ready for school, he claims it is a national holiday. Ignacio either believes this or doesn't care one way or another, and lets Justin continue watching TV. This kid seriously could get away with anything, as long as he says it with a smile.

Ignacio walks into Betty's room and tells her he know she hasn't had much of an appetite since this thing with Henry, but he made blueberry pancakes. A muffled voice that sounds like it might be Betty's answers "no thanks," but I'm not buying it, because Betty would never turn down pancakes. As Ignacio leaves, I am proven right, as the covers are whipped up to reveal Hilda. Adeptly, she wiggles her way over to the window, outside, and then back into her room. She's clearly had lots of practice covering for Betty's trysts with Henry recently, since she makes it all the way to her dresser where she is brushing her hair when Ignacio comes in to tell her about breakfast. Hilda is excited about the blueberry pancakes, and Ignacio is confused because he didn't tell her he made them. Instead of coming up with a good excuse, Hilda tells him he is getting senile. Ignacio decides to coax Betty out from under the covers with Canadian bacon, which is great, because we get to see Hilda wiggle her way over to Betty's room again. "I've got to get a life," she tells herself. I don't know, this is pretty amusing to me, and anyway, Hilda probably owes Betty for all the times she covered for her and Santos. As Ignacio tries to lure the faux-Betty out with bacon, the real Betty's hands and head appear in the window. Uh-oh, it's not the bacon that's out of the fire, into the frying pan now.

Marc is running around at work in full Wilhemina's assistant mode, freaking out and shrieking at people on the phone. It's kind as if Bridezilla had a gay assistant who is doing her work for her--oh, wait, it isn't kind of like that, it IS that. Hey! Our favorite photographer Cliff is back, and apparently he thinks it is really sexy when Marc goes into head voice. Marc is distracted by this for about a millisecond, but not for longer than that, because he's on his last nerve. The perfection of this wedding is not only at stake here, but so is the well-being of Marc's nipples. Wilhemina threatened to sand them off if any baby's breath show up in any of the floral arrangements. Cliff is kind of excited and tells Marc seductively he is not sure what to focus on, Marc mentioning the cake or his nipples. Also, has Marc seen his brown blazer? I'm thinking, yes, Marc saw his brown blazer. He saw his brown blazer as it went flying into the dumpster. Marc tells Cliff this wedding is so fancy that Armani is wearing Prada. I don't know anything about fashion, but this was a funny line regardless. Cliff points out that no one is going to be paying any attention to him. Marc, upset about mistakes he made in the seating chart, tells Cliff he can wear whatever he wants. Cliff is who he is, and Marc says he needs to accept his messiness. They flirt for a few moments longer, and then Marc dives back into work.

Bradford and Alexis are drinking Bloody Mary's in the office, because, why not? They're Meades; it's what they do. Daniel comes in, pointing out that maybe you shouldn't be drinking first thing in the morning, making a snide comment about his alcoholic mother in the process.  Really, though, he's just hurt he wasn't invited to the party. Alexis says they are celebrating. They heard from ad sales. Daniel is excited, because he thinks his speech to That Girl! last episode is why the magazine was saved. Poor Daniel. Actually, it was Alexis that managed to dig them out of the hole with all of her contacts. I'm wondering how Alexis did this when she has the memory of a goldfish. She's very chummy with her dad considering all she remembered last episode about how he treated her as Alex, as Alexis, and then lied to her as amnesiac Alexis. Oh well, I guess her character's emotional continuity is too much to ask for. Bradford is so pleased he has decided to return Alexis back to the position of favorite son, even though she's now a daughter. He asks her to stand up for him at the wedding, much to Daniel's chagrin, since Daniel paid for his dad's bachelor party--"Mr. I-need-more-singles!" Ew, Bradford is such a schmoe. Alexis reminisces with Bradford over their favorite stripper Cheyenne. Daniel says if Bradford wants to make Alexis his best man, to just do it. Too little, too late, Bradford offers that both of his offspring stand up together. "Too Little, Too Late" would make a great song title or Meade family slogan. Alexis tries to make Daniel feel better and withdraw from the offer, but Daniel tells her, "You really shouldn't disappoint, Dad--it might kill him." Oh, tricky "Ugly Betty" writers--simultaneously having Daniel burn Alexis for attempting to murder their father last season AND foreshadowing for later in the episode. Alexis looks mildly guilty.

Cut to Marc watching raptly as Posh poses on television. Wilhemina is disgruntled because she is being upstaged by her own Maid of Honor, and it isn't made better by Posh insinuating that Wilhemina is old or hawking the Beckham sports drink. Marc reminds her, and the casual viewers, that real reason Wilhemina is getting married is to take over Meade publications and start her own fashion magazine. Wilhemina responds with the exposition that her plan is off track since Daniel and Alexis--she calls them "the dynamic duo Danny and the Tranny"--have managed to save the magazine by finding advertisers. Hey, Daniel, at least Wilhemina recognizes your efforts! Marc gives Wilhemina a pep talk that she doesn't understand, but she likes it because it sounds nasty. Marc gleefully tells her it is. We use Posh feeding the ducks on television to cut to the next scene...

Justin is raptly watching Posh feeding the ducks in Central Park on TV. Ignacio is huffing around the kitchen, and we find out from Betty he has apparently been giving her the silent treatment all morning. She wants to resolve their disagreement before she goes to work, but Ignacio says he has nothing else to say. He stands firm that the thing with Henry is foolish, and it isn't some big romance. In case the viewers have forgotten, he reminds us that Henry "got another girl pregnant"--they always make this sound like Henry is a sleaze bucket and not like it was something that was completely out of his control that happened during the time when he was actually dating that said girl. And when I say girl, I mean SLO. Thank you to America Ferrera for coining the term. Also, don't forget that Henry's leaving in five months! If you truly believe that, gentle viewers, I've got a bridge in Brooklyn I can sell you. Hilda feels it is inappropriate for Justin to be in the room while this discussion is happening, so she makes him go watch TV upstairs. I'm sure the F station is much more appropriate. Betty tells her dad she loves Henry, but as she tries to explain that she is making this decision with open eyes, he keeps cutting her off. Hilda tries to mediate for a moment, but quickly chickens out and removes herself from the argument when she realizes Ignacio's ire might fall on her as well. Betty and Ignacio have a classic father and daughter shouting-fest, mostly disagreeing over what age Betty is--13 or 23. Hey, at least they both end in the number three! Ignacio tells her she can't see Henry while she is under his roof, and Betty decides to move out. Hilda is upset and dramatically delivers, "Ay, why is everyone in this family so freakin' dramatic?"

Betty storms upstairs with Hilda following. Betty is very upset and angry at her dad for calling her a silly girl, and Hilda is trying to calm her down by pointing out that Ignacio has a temper and says things. And hoo boy, does he have a temper. She knows it firsthand from how he felt about Santos. Justin is kicked out of the room yet again, now supposed to watch TV downstairs. The master of eye rolls dramatically leaves the room. Betty points out that she held the family together after her mother died. Hilda says Ignacio is just scared for Betty, since she's doing something that is a little bit crazy. Betty doesn't care. She has always been the sensible one, but now she thinks she deserves to do something a little bit crazy, at least once. As Betty throws clothes into a suitcase that conveniently appeared out of nowhere in her room, she tells Hilda that she never even thought she would get a chance at real love, and that this might be it for her. Oh, Henry is definitely IT for you Betty, but don't give up on the dream of true love forever. I know I don't, or I wouldn't watch this show.

Betty and Hilda move downstairs, but Hilda is still trying to convince Betty to stay since Ignacio's citizenship ceremony is this Saturday. Betty blurts out that it is thanks to her that Ignacio is becoming a citizen at all. Hilda boots Justin back upstairs, and he finally exasperatedly calls her on playing ping-pong with her son. "You know what? If there was ever an argument for me to have my own TV--this would be it!" Throwing on her new post-"Wicked" coat, Betty tells Hilda what she did for their dad, but then tells Hilda to not dare tell him. What do you think are the odds on how quickly Hilda tells Ignacio? Hilda shouts "Betty!" after her as the "Ugly Betty" puzzle faces scroll across the screen. Commercials.

Amanda and Marc are walking together at MODE. Marc is doing something with wedding invitations, while Amanda is complaining that her fifteen minutes of fame as Fey Sommers' daughter is almost up. All these other celebrities are getting more press coverage than her, and she tells Marc she is just as classy as they are...she has "class coming out her pooper." Yeah. Right. None of her big dreams are being realized--the singing career, the Amanda doll, rehab. I'm not sure which prospect she is most excited about. I'm most excited about the Amanda doll. As Wilhemina snaps at him from the other room, Marc rolls his eyes. "Let me just get my oldest married off first," he tells Amanda, "-and then it is all about you." Amanda threatens him that it better be, or she will twist off his nipples with a wrench. Ouch. Marc walks away commenting, "Why the sudden interest in my boys?" Michael Urie. So robbed of both an Emmy nomination and win last year.

A good looking man walks into the lobby and busts out the Scottish accent on Amanda. Not being the brightest, she tells him he talks just like someone she knows, but she's not sure who that is. We know this is Stuart, the husband Christina ran way from. Is it my imagination, or does he look kind of interested in Amanda? We cut to the costume room. Christina is sitting looking fairly preoccupied but making appropriate fairy godmother noises to Betty. Betty rants about her fight with her dad and subsequent move out. Just before Betty begins to ask Christina if she can crash on her couch, Stuart walks in. Christina rushes Betty toward the secret love dungeon entrance, makes a flying leap, and the entrance opens. Christina explains that it is a secret sex room. Betty is excited, while I am really hoping that she doesn't decide to bring Henry here, because the last thing either of them need in their lives is to get exposed to the unsanitary conditions of this place, especially since it sounds like Amanda and Marc keep it in use. Before she knows what hit her, Betty finds out that her best friend has a secret sex room, secret husband, and a secret dog. "You totally trumped my whole dad thing!" Betty admits. Betty tells Christina that she can't hide in there forever.

Cut to Marc, Wilhemina, Vera Wang, and Victoria Beckham checking out the wedding outfits. Yet again, Posh is upstaging Wilhemina. She makes Marc feel tingly in places no woman has ever made him feel tingly before.  I'm kind of disturbed by this confession. Unfortunately, Cliff isn't even there to hear this and be jealous. Wilhemina pushes Vera Wang out of the scene and redesigns Posh's dress to try to make it look bad.

Daniel walks in and notices Betty's huge suitcase. Betty quickly fills him in on how she is moving out due to her father's ultimatum about Henry, and to please not tell her that he told her so. They seem better than they were last episode, so they must have reached a compromise in the intervening time. Thankfully Daniel didn't go nuts and fire Henry. Daniel tells her he isn't the person to go to for relationship advice. Maybe you should have remembered that last episode, Daniel, when you were throwing your weight around and trying to control Betty's life. Both Betty and Daniel go into dual soliloquies delivered at the same time regarding their individual frustrations with their fathers, both ending with the phrase, "I'm not going." It's funny. Daniel has decided not to attend the wedding, and Betty has decided not to attend the citizenship ceremony. They are both pleased to have a friend that understands the importance of pretending to listen, even when s/he isn't. Betty walks out of Daniel's office, and Henry walks up. Hilda called him and told him what happened. Hilda is so on Team Henry and Betty! Tenderly, Henry tells Betty she will stay with him. Betty's eyebrows do that thing where they raise, and I wonder for a moment if she is going to say no, but then she smiles.

Cut to Christina and her husband, Stuart. We knew there had to be a reason that a catch like Christina married a guy like that in the first place, and it seems like it was mainly based on his looks. Stuart is laying on the guilt about her leaving him, even telling her that their dog Biscuit died three years ago. He claims that he is there to make amends as part of the healing process, that her leaving him helped him to realize he needed help. I don't trust him. Christina apologizes to him, too. "So do you think we can ever be friends, again?" he says gently. This is apparently hawt Scot for, "I want to jump your bones--will you let me?" Christina looks at him uncertainly. On the one hand, he was a terrible husband. On the other hand, she's not very good at saying no to sex.

Cut to Henry's apartment, which is really cozy. Henry's moving in Betty's suitcase and chattering excitedly about dinner plans. Betty hovers uncertainly in the doorway. While she has been in Henry's apart before, she never brought a suitcase along, and it's occurring to her that this is a big step in their relationship. Plus, she has lived at home her whole life. Henry gives her a key. "What does it mean?" Betty asks. He tells her that it means she can open the door. Betty remains awkward as he tries to get her settled and kisses her on the cheek. He notices and asks why she is being weird. She tells him it feels different, but he thinks it is nice...finally they can stop hiding and be a real couple. This cheers Betty up, as she realizes they can plan things. They start talking about Christmas and embark on an amusing disagreement about where the Christmas tree should be placed. How can anyone not think these two should get together? They have been living together less than five minutes, and they are already that cute old married couple that everyone in a relationship wants to be someday. They attempt to plan Valentine's Day as well, with better results. Betty is thrilled to find out that the sushi place they first went to isn't a sushi place anymore, since she hates sushi. Henry is amused. As she unpacks, Betty suggests that in April, they can go see Hall & Oates. Henry face falls. He's not going to be in New York in April, and he's sad. He's not devastated about missing Hall & Oates, though, so much as having to leave Betty and get his heart broken. It takes awhile for Betty to realize what she said. Also devastated and sad, she races into the bathroom to unpack her toothbrush. Henry follows and knocks on the door. "Betty, that's the closet." Betty tells him she knows, but she just needs a moment. On opposite sides of the wall, they lean forlornly. I want Henry to crawl into the closet with her in a few minutes, but unfortunately, the scene ends. I'll pretend that is what happens after the cut. Commercials.

It's the morning after. Wilhemina is stretched out in lingerie in bed with Dwayne, the bodyguard. He is hopeful that he is going to get some. He totally would, but Wilhemina doesn't want her weave to get sweaty on her wedding day. She tosses him a bone, though, and let's him take a shower as long as he doesn't use the good shampoo. Wilhemina turns on the television to find out that her dowdy Maid of Honor gown has been revamped to look hot, and "Vicki B" wore it out on the town, stealing the spotlight again. And again, we use Posh on television to move into the next scene.

Posh is on the television set in the Suarez kitchen, but only Justin is paying any attention. Ignacio is trying to decide if he should just wear a flag pin on his blazer, or if he should also wear this atrocious flag tie. Justin tells him if he wears the flag tie, that Justin will leave the country. Hilda and Ignacio think Justin is joking, but he totally isn't. Justin turns off the TV and leaves the kitchen, not the country. It's like he has some sort of clairvoyance that Ignacio is going to complain about Betty again. And then Ignacio does. He says Betty lied to him and disrespected him, and she hasn't even called. He's messing about with his non-flag tie, and finally Hilda tells him to give it to her and starts fixing it herself. Hilda says Betty loves him, but Ignacio says that she isn't acting like it and all she is thinking about is herself. And about time that she think about herself for a change, I say. Hilda says, "You have no idea how much Betty has done for you." Oh, she kept the secret for a whole twenty-four hours! That's a long time for Hilda.

Cut to the love dungeon. It's the morning after for a different couple. Christina and Stuart are naked in bed. He's pumping her for information on how good he was, while last night he was pumping her with something else entirely. Christina admits it was a mild improvement because he didn't pass out drunk halfway through. He also gets her to admit she missed him "a wee bit." I still don't buy that he is really "good Stuart." As he goes to visit the loo, Christina reaches down to smell his shirt, and then finds a syringe in his bag.  I knew it! "Bad, bad Stuart," she whispers.

Cut to Henry's apartment. Good, good Henry. It's the morning after for yet another couple, and they are the couple to end all couples. Henry and Betty are cuddled together in bed, their glasses side by side on the headboard above them. It's already one of the sweetest things I've seen on television, and the scene hasn't even started. Betty's cell phone buzzes on silent, and she fumbles around for her glasses, finding hers after she bumps into Henry's first. She puts on her glasses and checks the phone. A photo of her dad waving at her from his kitchen appears. Sighing, she sets down the phone. She's wearing a cute t-shirt with a sunflower on it and looks adorable. She rolls over in bed, still in Henry's embrace, caressing his arm and smiling at him sleeping. Half-asleep Henry wakes up, smiling. "Aw, you're awake," he says, sounding both happy and rueful. We get to see Henry's vulnerable side. He covers his mouth and tells her he was going to wake up early and sneak out to brush his teeth before she woke up. Betty rolls over to face him and pulls down his hand. "Don't be silly," she says, "You should be comfortable with who you are." They kiss. I love how this scene isn't just about Betty and Henry, it's really about the message of the show. This show has such heart.

Betty has been thinking about what they they are going to do together this Saturday, and gets ready to tell him her plans for breakfast. "Mmm," Henry says, reaching for his glasses so he can see her. She tells him there is a French place on Bank Street that has these cute little ducks above the awning, "and I have no idea what they serve, but the ducks are cute!" Henry strokes her back and with a very straight face, tells her that they serve baby ducks. "What?" Betty says, before realizing that he is teasing her. They laugh together, and kiss again. "Shut up," she says affectionately. My cheeks hurt too much from grinning. They sit up in bed, and Henry puts his arm around her as she throws random items out of her new grocery bag purse that she acquired this season. He is wearing a New York t-shirt. Betty thinks they could go on an adventure and holds out a brochure. "New York Transit Museum?" Henry exclaims, psyched. Betty says she knows what a fan he is of the subway system--see, she knows his favorite things, too! Also, apparently he had a supernatural experience with foggy glasses where he saw his Nana down on the third rail. America Ferrera's perfect delivery of the noncommital "Yeah, probably" in combination with Christopher Gorham's excited Henry face cracks me up. Henry agrees it would be fun, but then his face becomes sad. "What's with the face? You don't want to go?" Betty asks. "No, of course I do," Henry reassures her, "Who wouldn't?" Actually, Henry, probably pretty much every other character in the show wouldn't but you two, which yet again shows how perfect you are for each other.  Henry thinks Betty should go to her dad's citizenship ceremony, but she tells him that she made her decision--today is about them, and she wants to do something crazy and fun. Our crazy and fun couple agree to go to the NY Transit Museum, and kiss again as the scene cuts. Is it creepy that I want to stalk them to the NY Transit Museum and see them being adorkable together?

Cut to Wilhemina watching television in bed. Daniel shows up knocking on Wilhemina's door to give back the rings to his father, but Wilhemina says she is an old-fashioned girl and he has a suite on a different floor. Daniel gives her the rings and says he won't be attending the wedding. Wilhemina makes a snide comment about doing the mother-son dance with Alexis, when the toilet flushes behind her. Wilhemina claims it is Posh, but Daniel is suspicious. He lurks in the hallway and watches as Dwayne leaves. Commercials.

After breakfast at the cute duck place, Betty and Henry are laughing and exiting the elevator on the MODE floor. They are positively glowing, so I think they probably played a game where they kissed for every floor they passed. Betty left a coupon for the NY Transit Museum in the desk, but Henry laughingly tells her he is willing to pay the extra ten bucks. Betty still wants it, though, because you also get a free shower curtain with a map of the subway system. Betty wants to get it for Hilda, because she apparently has trouble with A line and ends up at the Bronx Zoo more often than she needs. Hey, we always knew Hilda was the wild child. Henry pulls her back for another quick kiss, and as they smile at each other, they hear a noise. "Who's in Wilhemina's office?" Henry asks.

Cut to Daniel rooting around through Wilhemina's office like a hog searching for truffles. Henry and Betty covertly peek out from behind a filmy curtain that doesn't hide them at all. "Daniel?" Betty asks incredulously. "Betty! Henry! Hi!" Daniel says. Betty and Henry raise their eyebrows.

Cut to Christina, chewing Stuart out on graduating to worse drugs. Stuart tells her that it isn't what she thinks; he's sick. His liver is failing, and he only has six months to live, since he can't raise $100,000 for an experimental treatment. "Good news is, that in six months' time, you will be inheriting my mum's spoon collection." Christina wants his mum's spoon collection, but she wants him alive more. She tells Stuart if he stays in New York, she will find a way to get him the money. I still don't trust Stuart. He's sick, all right--sick for using Christina for his own nefarious purposes.

Cut to Henry waiting for Betty at her desk. He sees her "Wicked" mug and picks it up, kissing the rim. It's pretty much impossible to be more in love with each other than these two are. He bumps her keyboard accidentally, which activates her screensaver. There is a picture of the couple smiling somewhere outside, a picture of Betty in Guadalajara, and then a series of pictures of her family. Henry looks contemplative. Meanwhile, Daniel is filling Betty in on his suspicions about Wilhemina, but she can't corroborate them. She is still worried that her dad will be deported. She urges Daniel to go this father with his suspicions, but Daniel says his father won't believe him. Betty tries to reassure Daniel by telling him the bodyguard is dumb. He doesn't know the difference between mute/moot. Unfortunately, her example of the bodyguard's dumbness is actually a mistake Daniel made. "I get it now," Daniel tells her. "Well, he's dumb, too," Betty says. She realizes that she's not making it any better. This is funny again. Daniel actually has more funny moments this episode than he normally does.

After a quick montage of scenes from New York, we end up at the pre-wedding reception where Amanda is informing everyone she is Amanda Sommers, Fey Sommers daughter. No one cares. Marc is very nervous, because this party is the debut of his boyfriend, Cliff, and he has no idea what Cliff is going to show up looking like. Then Cliff makes his entrance, and suddenly the soundtrack comes from Marc's mind. "I believe in miracles...you sexy thang." It's quite funny. Cliff does clean up nice, although I personally preferred it when he had the mop of curls. Marc shouts, quite literally, to everyone that Cliff is his boyfriend. He also says that who knew there was hardwood floors under that shag rug. I could make a comment about "hard" and "wood" right now, but it's probably best left unsaid. After Henry, I think Cliff is the sweetest boyfriend in the world. He's really uncomfortable. "Beauty is pain, Cliff," Marc says. "And you are hurting me bad." Yow. Sexy couple. Cliff does the cute eyeroll thing, the same one that Betty does sometimes, like when she told Henry he was a dork last season.

Cut to Betty and Henry in front of the courthouse. Henry has brought Betty there to attend Ignacio's citizenship ceremony. He tells her they can go to the NY Transit Museum another day. She's angry at him, but he tells her that pretending she can live without her family is just an act. "I've seen you guys together; you're like this." He crosses his fingers to show how tight the Suarez family are with each other. "And when I leave, they're going to be the ones who are here for you." He's so tender. I'm incredibly sad to think of Henry leaving. Commercials.

Back at the wedding party, Amanda is scoping out the crowd for old guys that may be her father. Marc is getting jealous, because he thinks Cliff is flirting with one of the waiters while seductively sucking on a lambchop. We get to see this apparent seductive sucking, and Cliff obviously isn't flirting, he's just eating. Marc gestures for Cliff to come over, but Cliff gives Marc "the one minute finger." Marc and Amanda are shocked. "Dee-nied," Amanda says, getting ready to take a photo of it with her cell phone camera. Marc slaps her hand.

Cut to Ignacio at his citizenship ceremony, giving his vows. He looks really proud, and Hilda looks very emotional. Justin looks emotional, too, because he is keeping up to date on the wedding with his phone and found out that Gwyneth wore white to the ceremony. Betty walks in the door, and Ignacio sees her out there and tears up. She smiles tremulously across the room at him.

Back at the wedding, Marc shows up between Cliff and the waiter. Cliff tries to introduce them, but Marc says, "Don't care" and throws away Cliff's lambchop, dragging him away. "That was rude," Cliff says. Get used to it, you're dating Marc. Marc accuses him of tramping it up with the waiter with clearly waxed eyebrows. Cliff says that Tony, the waiter, insists he was born with the perfect Joan Crawford arch. Marc scoffs, and gets ready to argue that Joan wasn't born with eyebrows like that, when he remembers he is mad at Cliff. "Wait, a minute--I'm angry!" Cliff can't figure out why he is angry, especially since the guy is just a client he works with, they're just friends, and to top it off, the dude is straight. Maybe we can hook Tony up with Amanda. Unimpressed with reason, Marc still remains insanely jealous, remaining skeptical that Tony is heterosexual because he is a model. Don't stereotype, Marc. Marc winds himself up so much that not only does he not listen to Cliff, he breaks up with him. And Hilda thought the Suarez family was dramatic. "This thing between us--it's over!" Marc declares. At that point, a photographer comes by and they pose as a happy couple for the camera together. Priceless. Marc prances off before Cliff can say anything in response, and Amanda does this gesturing thing with her hand at Cliff that is impossible to describe in words, but hi-waitforit-larious.

Cut to Daniel coming up to the outside of Wilhemina's door. Wilhemina must still be worried about her weave, because surprisingly, Dwayne actually looks like he is doing his job. He stands guard outside her door. Daniel approaches him smoothly. "So, D-dawg," he says. Okay, maybe not so smoothly. Has he been hanging out with our second favorite Meade accountant Kenny? Daniel tells Dwayne he must get a lot of action--a "big, strong, good looking guy like you." Dwayne asks if Daniel is hitting on him. If there were any Daniel/Dwayne shippers out there, they would be squealing with joy. The thing with Daniel is that he really has two main modes--little boy and playboy. With most people, when he wants to try to charm them, he tries to sell them with the playboy smile. I don't blame Dwayne for assuming. Daniel then offers him a blank check for him to tattle on Wilhemina, but unfortunately, he left the checkbook at home. Wilhemina comes out. She dramatically builds up to the reason why Daniel can't go to his father. "You know why you can't?" she asks rhetorically. Dwayne answers, "He has no proof." Dwayne, much like Daniel, is actually smarter than he looks at first. Wilhemina snaps, "Dwayne! I was building up to that!" She concurs with his reason, though, and then smugly tells Daniel she will see him at the altar.

Back at the wedding, Marc is whining to Amanda that now that Cliff is the hottest man in the room, he thinks he is too good for Marc. Amanda is baffled. She says that while she did like the new suit, it only made Cliff 15% hotter. Marc wants to know if that is the case, then why is every waiter serving Cliff food and every bartender serving him drinks? Marc is really cute jealous. Amanda suddenly gets it. Marc has fallen for this guy Cliff. Sometimes it takes her a little longer than others to work these things out. "Ohmygawd, it's happened. You're looking past the OUTSIDE, and seeing what's on the INSIDE." Amanda is shocked, saying, "You're falling for an average man." I really don't think Amanda is one to judge, since she falls for anyone who smiles sideways at her and crooks his finger her direction. Marc's asthma acts up as he realizes he is an average man-lover. He asks Amanda what he should do. Amanda's inner romantic kicks into gear, and she tells him he should accept it. "You are deeper than you think. It's okay. We all have flaws." She has a complete Diane the hygienist moment, imagining Marc running after the airplane and busting through security, shouting,"Cliiiiiiiiff!!!" Marc is getting into the fantasy, too, but since Amanda actually called Cliff's name while she was telling this story, Cliff turns around and looks at them, nowhere near any airplane. "You calling me?" Amanda gives back for all those times that Marc was her relationship counselor, and she recommends Marc go talk with Cliff. Marc walks over and hugs Cliff, who reciprocates. They have fallen for each other despite themselves.

At the citizenship ceremony, Ignacio and Betty apologize to each other--Ignacio for being harsh and forgetting his little girl is a woman, and Betty for hiding her relationship with Henry from her dad. She is going to continue to be with Henry, and she wants her family to be there when he leaves and she falls apart. She looks across the room at Henry, who is making friends with the new citizens. I think Kenny must have taught him how to bump fists with his friends. Hilda remains emotional about the scene, much to Justin's disgust. She makes him go back to watching TV on his cell instead of mocking her. Betty agrees that she is coming back home. Ignacio tells her that he knows what Betty did to make him a citizen. "Hilda sucks at secrets," Betty says with irritation. Hilda gives a Daniel Meade-like thumbs up at Betty from across the room. Ignacio says that she can't betray her friend for him, and points out that now that he is a citizen, nothing is stopping her from supporting her friend.

On a mission, Wilhemina goes to get married. Posh either flaked, or Dwayne locked her in a changing room. Either way, the wedding must go on. Recognizable guests include the media, Daniel, Amanda, Marc, and Cliff. Alexis is standing up as best woman behind Bradford, who looks giddy with happiness. I kept hoping that Bradford really was smarter than I thought and was planning to turn the tables on Wilhemina, but it looks like he really has bought her story hook, line, and sinker. The priest barely gets started before Betty crashes the wedding. "I object!" she shouts. The priest says that they haven't gotten to that part yet. Commercials.

Daniel and Betty stand in the foyer. Daniel says he knew that Wilhemina was cheating on his father with the bodyguard, but he needs details so he can have proof. Betty admits she saw them four months ago. How time passes in TV land. Daniel proves how much he is like his father, and completely doesn't let her explain the extreme circumstances that lead her to delay bringing this news to him. Daniel, also like his father, thinks that the best course to go with people is to go on a power trip, shout at them, and fire them when his feelings get hurt. Bradford offered to do this with Sofia Reyes last season, but at least she sort of deserved it a bit more. We saw Daniel's tendency to do this earlier this season when he fired sandwich-maker Gio, along with his threats to fire Henry. So, without further ado, Daniel accuses Betty of betraying him and fires her. Oh, please. I'm not surprised, nor especially concerned, because the show would end if she stopped working at MODE. Daniel can be such a jerk at times.

Daniel goes to interrupt the ceremony. Bradford lets him, following him out. Wilhemina tries to get married without Bradford, but she is told that it doesn't work that way. "Do something," she hisses to Marc. Marc has a flash of brilliance and announces to everyone that Amanda will sing a song. She panicks. "La la la la la," she sings. At Marc's urging to do something more exciting, she starts to sing "Milkshake," and it's really funny.

Outside, Bradford and Daniel pace in the hallway. Bradford thinks Daniel is just doing this because he will do anything to poison Bradford's relationship with Wilhemina. Daniel is exasperated, telling Bradford that he is the only person who is willing to be honest to him and saying that Betty saw them together. Bradford asks if she saw them, then where is she? Oh-ho. Karma came back and bit you, didn't it, Daniel? Bradford's blood pressure is on the rise, and he stalks back into the wedding.

Amanda now has organ accompaniment to her version of "Milkshake," which has become even more hilarious while we have been away. Some people are actually starting to get really into it, especially guys. Maybe it's Amanda's handkerchief dress and strutting. Dwayne loves it. Amanda/Dwayne shippers everywhere get excited. Marc tries to start the wave, and to support, Cliff pitches in. Amanda's song is cut off when Bradford returns. The seed of doubt has been planted, though, and as Bradford looks from Wilhemina to the bodyguard, he goes into cardiac arrest. Daniel shouts for someone to call 911. As Marc does, Wilhemina goes into a fit and pounds on Bradford's chest shouting, "Don't you dare die!" Alexis drags her off, and Daniel starts to perform CPR. I wish they had figured out something to do with Bradford other than kill him off. At home, the Suarez family sits and watches the whole thing on television. In the streets of New York, Betty also watches it up on the big screen.

That's all for this episode, folks! The next episode, Bradford clings to life, Wilhemina tries to marry him, Betty and Henry go on adventures--yay!, and Betty is most likely forced to stay at MODE by deathbed promises.