Devera's Reviews

Diabolical Plan of Fail

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 22:27:48 GMT

As many of you probably noticed, my diabolical plan from quite awhile back to rewatch and write up recaps of all episodes of LOST, and then analyze them afterwards...tanked. I had an inkling it might happen, as you know. It tanked big time. It didn't even get beyond the two part Pilot. The problem is I want to do things like this thoroughly, and then I don't find time to write up my notes and really dig into the analysis. Life, you know...and procrastination.

I'm doing another rewatch this year, but I'm posting most of my observations on the episode rewind threads on the wonderful threaded board at The Fuselage, if anyone is interested in my thoughts.

I'm also watching a lot of new movies--partly because it's fun, partly because I'm on a quest. If I get the inspiration, I might write up some reviews on the movies I have been watching. :)

Ugly Betty Pilot - Picture Recap

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 03:05:15 GMT

If you haven't seen the Ugly Betty Pilot episode in awhile (or, gasp, if you haven't seen it EVER) you might need some refreshing. Never fear, I have put together a comprehensive recap of how it all went down to "help you" out!

Betty is all, OMG, nervous.
And the Meade lobby is the size of a football stadium,
but that doesn't matter 'cause we'll never see it again.

Everyone in the audience falls in love with the Betty smile.

Then we see the ill advised color combo
on the title card that looks like a mustard packet.

Betty: I'm really nice to everyone.

Poncho Woman: I'm a bee-yatch.

Betty is all singing, "A whole new world! / A dazzling place I never knew!"

While this HR Guy is like, "Uhhh..."

MODE Muppet: Ermm...

"I think we're...not hiring anymore...yeah..."

(They should totally bring this guy back for the next party with HR and accounting;
I bet his facial expressions are even better when he's sloshed.)

"Wait? That's it? The end of my dream five minutes into the Pilot episode?"

"But I'm really smart! And I care about world events!
And...these stairs are a really good workout."

And Bradford is all crushing on Betty in a non-sexual manner.
"I've got my mind set on you...got my mind set on you!"

"But...I love Jim Henson! Please don't turn me away!"

~~~

Later, Betty's nephew Justin is watching lurid telenovelas.

"Salma will never be as good as she was in Frida ever again."

Hilda is all,
"Let's focus on the woman with bushy eyebrows in OUR family, Justin."

Hilda: So Betty, since you didn't get the job,
I think you should give up all your dreams.

Betty: . . .

Ignacio: Hilda, we live in America! And ~~America Ferrera~~ Betty can achieve anything!

"Sequins! ... I mean, speaking of dreams, Walter dreams of marrying you!"

"Walter?!...why, that's so uncharacteristically romantic of him...really?"

"Maybe I was wrong to think he wasn't the man of my dreams..."

Walter is all, "LOL, I brought y'all a broken stereo
to make up for some news I have!"

"Walter and Betty sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
First comes the love, then comes--
well, someone in our family should do it in the right order, anyway."

TV: "Fey Sommers is dead. So dead. Deader than a doornail."

TV: "And while we're at it, here are some other info dumps..."

~~~

Daniel is all, "Indeed I AM a man-SLO and loving it, and
OMG, I can't believe I'm getting away with this at 8/7 central."

Bradford smirks.
"Ah, the days of office affairs. It seems like only a few weeks ago."

"Dad. What are you doing working so late? It's all covered here."

"I always thought of you as more a purple man, son."

"Olly olly oxen free."

"Why look, it's a woman. And a pencil. What a surprise!"

"You know, these things are so versatile. I had no idea."

~~~

"You cheated on me and now you're dumping me for the other woman?
You are so not my One True Pair! I don't care how many fan fics Hilda writes."

"I do feel a little bad about it--that's why I brought you the broken stereo."

"If it makes you feel better, she's the really classy lady who lives next door..."

Walter: How about a goodbye makeout session for old time's sake?

Betty: Walter. Ugh. Leave.

So since Betty didn't get the job or the guy, she decides she will get all the flan.

But then someone calls her who wants her to work at a magazine called "MODE?!"

"SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

~~~

She arrives at work in this poncho that her dad said
he bought her in Mexico, but it is really from a fake import store.

"LOL, I work here now!"

"Please tell me this is one of Marc's practical jokes."

Daniel: I think I can uphold the tradition of MODE and...

Betty: ***THUD***

And everyone is all, who the heck is that girl?

And even though his surprisingly decent speech was interrupted,
Daniel asks Betty if she is okay.
So we decide that we might like him a little bit. Even if he is a man-SLO.

Then the "Imperial March" starts playing and ~~Darth Vader~~
Wilhemina Slater makes her entrance.

Marc is all, "This gift doesn't really express the DEPTH
of my feelings for you, but Willi picked it..."

The crystal has "Danny Meade" etched on it.

Marc is horrified:
"I wanted it to say Fanny Meade..."

Wilhemina shows the world what the face of "hellaciously upset" looks like...

"This is not the magazine you are looking for...move along, move along."

...while Betty takes copious notes: "Mean lady = hellaciously upset."

Wilhemina dismisses the ~~stormtroopers~~ MODE employees.
Daniel is all, "Well, at least my day can't get any worse."

Who do you work for?

Why, you!

Aww, hellz no...
~~~

The Borg queen is enjoying getting probed.

"Mirror, Mirror, on the wall / Who's the fairest one of all?"

The mirror looks like Marc, and it is all, "you are the fairest."

And then Marc eavesdrops on a mysterious phone call in a very Shakespearian manner.

~~~

Amanda is all, "Phillippe and Daniel, I've boinked them both."

Amanda: At the same time, actually...it was good.

Betty: Overshare!!

Phillippe is all hating on Betty for no real reason, taunting her:
"Your father smelt of elderberries!"

Betty is all, "I was trying to compliment you, but...oh never mind."

Phillipe is like, "What was that all about, bon amie? You trying to lose your jerk certificate?"

"I say we get rid of her."

"We shall keel her. With pistols. At dawn."

~~~

Amanda is all, "Purse > Betty"

"What in the world did I do with that magic wand? I was sure..."

Betty: Wand? Why then you must be...

Christina: Christina McKinney. Your Scottish fairy godmother.

"I requested someone who wasn't a size ZERO."

Christina: Nancy and Zelda, fairy godmother's-in-training.
I'm not sure who is who...they will be shadowing me for two episodes,
and then you will never seen them again.

Betty: Hi!

Amanda and Marc are all, "Best friends FOREVER."

~~~

"Feed the birds...tuppence a bag...tuppence, tuppence..."

"Fey Sommers is dead. So dead. Deader than a doornail."

"Is this storyline going to go anywhere? Just wondering..."

~~~

Then Daniel becomes like the worst boss ever,
and is all, "So Betty, how do you feel about slave labor?"

He makes Betty do things like pick cabbage out of coleslaw 24/7.

And walk this dog that Daniel stole from someone,
because we all know Daniel does not own a dog.

Dog: I *LUFF* you!!! Save me from this stranger!!

He puts gum on his shoe and has Betty pick it off...

Hilda calls wondering why Betty is missing their dad's birthday celebration.

"OMG, Hilda, I'm sorry...but I'm doing work...my job duties involve
menial labor and helping Daniel get laid multiple times in one night!"

ABC producers are all like, even shows about being beautiful on the inside
need to show some skin in their "Pilot" episodes to gain viewers.

ABC: And we are happy to oblige with nearly nekkid
Eric Mabius and Becki Newton hawtness.

Daniel is all, "Man, she looks kind of like a sad little puppy down there."

"Please, sir...can I go home to my family now?"

"A puppy I kicked. Wow, I almost feel bad for her."

ABC: Calling the heterosexual male demographic! Tune in, please!

"Eh, but not bad enough to let her go home."

When Betty finally walks home, her evening gets worse.

She sees Gina and Walter getting it on...ewwww.

Hilda, who has apparently been holding these balloons all night,
gives Betty a Mt. Rushmore-sized guilt trip for missing the party.

Then is all, "But we saved you a piece of cake, since that is all you are good at."

Betty is all, "Worst. Week. EVER."

But then this ultra-adorable photograph is like, "Betty! Psstt..."

And Betty that gives Betty a "Work Idea,"
'cause she's awesome at interpreting visions.

~~~

Betty is following Daniel around at work dropping things in typical Betty fashion.

Betty: So, I know you hate me, but I actually think I have a
brilliant idea that might really help the magazine be a success.

Daniel: Please refrain from attempting to do your actual job.

Betty: But...that doesn't make any sense.

Daniel: Eat my dust.

~~~

Daniel sends Betty to the closet to pick up a costume he forgot.

Christina is all, "Bippity boppity boo! Oh, I see you're not much of one for fashion."

"Not really...but I can't believe you are dissing the polka dot blouse.
Everyone thinks I look really cute in this outfit, including my future true love."

"Riiiight. Well, let's get right to the point then. How are things?"

"Yucky."

"I've basically degraded my status as a human being,
and I don't even get a chance to share ideas for the magazine."

"Och. You poor wee thing. Well, if you had lost all faith,
I couldn't be here, and here I am."

"Fairy Godmother Rule #1 : ' Honesty is the best policy'
Bradford Meade hired you 'cause he thinks you're ugly."

"That sooo did not make me feel any better, but I will try to
take this information as a sign I am lucky to have gotten this big break."

"But later I will secretly cry myself to sleep."

"Hmmm..."

"Put it together, and what have you got? Bippity Boppity boo!"

~~~

Amanda is all, "Hiiiiii...just was passing through...what a coincidink, doncha know?
...love the gory porno costumes...love the shoot...love you..."

Daniel is all, "That's nice, m'dear" and walks away clueless.

Phillippe is all, "I just think...
you could be so much more douche-y, if you gave it a real go."

"Did I walk into a strip joint accidentally or something?"

"I need...THAT GIRL!"

"I'm so glad I ordered doughnuts for this thing."

"So hear me out: I want you to wear an inappropriate costume
that I know you will never wear 'cause you're ugly."

"Wow. And I thought you were kind of a jerk before."

"It worked like a charm. She quit."

O. M. G.

Betty walks out and all these clowns who have
no room to talk are laughing at her outfit.

And it is all awkward and sad.

SLO #1 is laughing.

As is SLO #2, the Cat in the Hat, and everyone else.

And Daniel is all, "OMG, she is right, I AM a jerk, please stop this now."

Betty FINALLY storms out and is all,
"You treated me badly 'cause you wanted me to quit. I quit. Happy now?"

Daniel wants to deny it.

But he realizes he can't really, because she is completely right.

~~~

"Da-doo."

Justin comes out with chamomile tea to make Betty feel better.

Hilda is being cynical, but Justin totally believes in Betty's dreams.

And Betty and the audience are all like "JUSTIN LOVE!!"

Then Betty decides to do a quick aerobic workout...

...to visit Gina Gambarro next door,
who is totally doing an aerobic workout of her own.

Betty is all, "Stop making out with my ex where I can see and hear you!"

Only it isn't Walter--it is some other pervy guy that Gina picked up.

***awkward***

"Walter gave me the discount on the plasma screen, and we moved on."

"You stole my boyfriend for a DISCOUNT???"

***plasma screen dies and is dead***

~~~

Fabia is making out with her little chihuahua.

Daniel outlines their ad campaign for Fabia Cosmetics.

And this slide says all that needs to be said.

Fabia hates it. She throws candy at Daniel, and not in the parade float way.

Marc and Wilhemina gleefully tell Daniel about an accident Fabia caused.

Phillippe professes ignorance:
"I am French. I know nothing but wine and cheese
and how to make sweet, sweet love."

~~~

Bradford Meade is working out in the Meade gym o'lameness.

"Dad, I know you think I'm an idiot, but I swear
that Wilhemina was acting all evil and fake sweet and stuff."

"You are an idiot, son. It runs on my side of the family.
But I will give you one more chance."

~~~

Phillippe:
A toast to Team Evil.
I loved manipulating my "friend" into dumping his assistant and screwing himself. Merci.

Wilhemina:
Did you say something about screwing?
Because "Team Evil" is all over that.

***KISS***

"I am in big trouble."

~~~

"No, I will NOT let my father just die...I need that medication."

Back home at the Suarez house, Betty is being a superhero.

And Ignacio LOVES his little girl, and we LOVE HIM for LOVING HER.

And then Walter shows up to ruin the touching moment.

He says he made a mistake and wants her back, and we are all,
"NOOOOOOO!!! Don't forgive him, he is not worthy of you!"

...especially after he jumps to the conclusion that Betty is cheating
on him with Daniel.

"Ugh. Walter. Go away."

Daniel is all, "Soooo...about that whole being a jerk thing...
that was uncalled for on my part, and I think you should totally come back to work."

Betty is all, "Apology accepted, but this might just be too little, too late."

"But...I have problems, too." *sniff*

"You have no idea what problems are, Mr. White and Class Privilege!"

But then Daniel pulls out the "daddy issues" card,
and Betty reluctantly goes to save his butt.

~~~

Daniel and Betty are late, so Wilhemina gets ready to steal Fabia from them...

But they arrive shortly after that with their mock ups.

To give Walter props, apparently he was an OK boyfriend at one point.

But the presentation is really about how great Betty and her mom were together...

...which was pretty darn great and touching.

Daniel freezes up, but Betty saves the day with her statistics.

Fabia is all like, "Do it!" and leaves with her smoking entourage.

Betty lets Bradford think this whole idea was from Daniel.

~~~

Then this mummy is talking to Wilhemina and asks what Betty's name is,
which begins a montage of people saying Betty's name.

"Betty."

"Betty."

"Betty."

"Betty....."

Betty: Wow. You really are my fairy godmother!
Thanks for planting that folder on Daniel's desk!

Christina: No problem, love.

Daniel thanks her and they are firmly on the same team now.
Then he has to leave to shag the woman in his vehicle.

The beginning of Betty achieving her dreams begins! Ooops.

LOL.

Don't forget to watch "Ugly Betty" on ABC!
Hi to all my friends at "Instant Connection" forums and chat.

Rewatching LOST Pilot, Part 1 - What I Learned

Wed, 20 Feb 2008 03:27:32 GMT

Warning: While I am currently discussing a LOST episode from season one, I reserve the right to mention anything from any future episodes through season four, episode 2. Read at your own risk if you aren't up to date in LOST mythos!

Pilot, Part 1 - What I Learned or Remembered When Rewatching LOST

*Jack took some flying lessons at one point.

*Jack probably saved at least five, if not more, characters in the Pilot, Part 1. These characters include Rose, Claire, Hurley, Tourniquet Guy, and Charlie. He may have also saved others by giving them a purpose and getting them away from the airplane. Rose's revival scene is very reminiscent of Jack's later miraculous resurrection of Charlie.

*Hurley and Claire were friends prior to either of them becoming friends with Charlie. Hurley is charged with Claire's care by Jack, and he gives Claire extra food rations and checks on the baby. Is there a possibility for a future Claire/Hurley romance in the wake of their shared grief over Charlie? I'm not saying it would be soon, but perhaps it is a possibility that could happen sometime.

*As a non-shipper, I can report after watching this episode that Jack and Kate do have chemistry (which is sometimes difficult to remember given so many recent powerful scenes with Kate and Sawyer).

*As early as the first episode, Jack was trying to keep Kate from going on adventures to protect her.

*Sayid shows leadership by starting the signal fire, as well as introducing himself to Charlie and getting his help with the fire.

*Hurley demonstrates leadership by gathering and distributing food. He also suggests they do something about the bodies in the fuselage.

*Jack demonstrates leadership by attempting to save everybody (and mostly succeeds in his efforts). He also right away starts issuing orders to people for what they should be doing to help him (i.e. Locke, Hurley, Boone).

*Kate had a friend named Beth who loves Charlie's band.

*Between the island discussion of the plane crash and Jack's flashback with Rose on the plane, the future storyline of Bernard and the tail section is completely set up from this episode.

*We know now that Boone couldn't get a signal to his cell phone because all communication to the island was blocked.

*Although perhaps a bit melodramatic, I find it interesting that Charlie actually tells Kate that "I was dead," and then says Jack saved him. In retrospect, this is the first of many times that Charlie almost died.

FLASHBACKS

*Cindy, the flight attendant, seems to be interested in Jack and like him.

*Jack is in the midst of telling Rose that everything will be all right when the plane goes down.

Rewatching LOST Pilot, Part 1 - RECAP

Tue, 19 Feb 2008 08:00:34 GMT

This is a very detailed recap, but mostly just factual. If you want to find out what I learned, my next post will be about what I learned and/or remembered after watching this episode. People who aren't interested in reading the whole recap may read the upcoming post.

Warning!: While I am currently recapping a LOST episode from season one, I reserve the right to mention anything from any future episodes through season four, episode 2. Read at your own risk if you aren't up to date in LOST mythos!

Pilot, Part 1 -- LOST Recap

The fuzzy capital letters "LOST" move in on us out of an otherwise black screen, coming in and out of focus with an eerie sound behind them. We will get used to seeing these letters. (I actually saw a negative review of LOST that complained that after all these seasons, the LOST people had still failed to "fix" the pixelated LOST title. They are missing the point--the fuzziness is intentional.)

We focus in on a closed eye, which opens abruptly, startled. Next, we see a forest canopy above the character. We cut back to the man the eye belongs to, spread out on the ground. He looks stunned and has a scratch on his cheek. This is the first time we see Jack Shepherd, although we didn't know that was who he was back when we first watched it. Jack hears something and looks to his left. What is coming at him? We hold our breath in anticipation, and out of the bamboo pads a golden retriever. It whines and goes running off. (This is Vincent, but again, we didn't know that.) Jack staggers to his feet and pulls a small bottle of booze out of his pocket, then replaces it. He starts running frantically through the trees, past a sneaker in a tree, and comes out on a beautiful beach. There are screams coming from around an outcropping of foliage. Jack comes out upon the carnage and wreckage of the fuselage after the plane crash. THIS is how the show of "LOST" begins. Pretty cool, huh?

Wait, it's not over. The crash site is chaos. I forgot how powerful this scene is. Jack is looking everywhere, trying to figure out where to start first. I try to recognize people in the background cacophony...that was Locke, I think, but he looks just like one in a number of extras. The next person I recognize is a close up on Charlie, hand up to his face. Shortly after, we see Jin shouting frantically...I don't see Sun, so I'm guessing he is calling for her. We see a brief glimpse of Michael running by looking for his son, shouting "Walt! Walt!" Some guy I don't recognize says "Stay away from the gas!" Behind him, Shannon stands screaming her head off.

Jack, and the audience, take a brief moment to notice the remnants of the plane are unstable and might fall on them. However, shortly after Jack notices someone trapped under the wreckage of the plane. "Help! Help! somebody help me!" Jack runs to the rescue, but he can't move the wreckage. He gestures and shouts at some random guys to give him a hand. You can barely see him, but one of them is John Locke. Jack pulls the man out, and the red blood of his leg is shocking. Jack pulls off his tie to tourniquet the wound, but he isn't even finished before he hears someone else screaming for help.

The new person in need of rescue? It's a very pregnant Claire. Jack tells Locke and the other random guy to move the first patient away from the engine, racing over to save Claire. Claire tells Jack she is having contractions and is nearly eight months pregnant. As he questions Claire, Jack notices Boone attempting to perform CPR on Rose.

Locke and friend move the random guy out of the way, but while they are doing so, someone else gets too close to the plane. Locke shouts at this guy and tries to wave him away, but it's too late. He gets sucked in and it explodes. Jack shields Claire from the blast while others duck and dodge. Jack tells Claire she will be fine, but she has to stay completely still. Jack looks over at Hurley, who is standing looking at the plane rather stunned. "Hey, you!" In retrospect, I think that stunned look on Hurley's face is him contemplating that his "curse" that caused this calamity to happen. Jack gives Hurley specific instructions for watching Claire and keeping track of her contractions. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me," Hurley says. Watching it this time, I think Hurley is worried about Claire. He thinks that giving him custody of a pregnant woman is probably the worst choice Jack could have made for her safety. Hurley asks Jack what his name is in case he needs to call for him, and Jack shouts it out. This is how we know who Jack is.

Jack runs over to tell Boone he is really botching the CPR job. Boone has been blowing air into Rose's stomach. Boone argues with Jack and tells him he is a lifeguard. Jack tells him he might want to consider giving that license back. Boone thinks that they should stick a pen in Rose's throat. Jack is thrilled with this idea, because it gives him a reason to get rid of the incompetent Boone. He encourages Boone to go find a pen. Boone charges of with purpose, asking everyone for a pen. This scene really encapsulates who Boone was in a nutshell--he meant well and he wanted to be a hero. However, he just didn't seem to ever have the hero material, for whatever reason.

It seems like Rose might be gone, but Jack fervently whispers "c'mon, c'mon, c'mon" and she gasps for air. Jack is really good about bringing people back to life. Then Jack notices that part of the wing is going to fall on Claire and Hurley. He races all the across the beach again, shouting at Hurley and Claire to move. Jack and Hurley rush Claire away from the plane. It falls and causes another explosion, knocking all three of them to the ground. A huge part falls behind Charlie, who looks bemused. Is Charlie high at this point? I can't remember.

After determining that both Claire and Hurley are okay, Jack orders Hurley to stay with Claire. "Dude," Hurley almost chuckles, "I'm not going anywhere." Soft music comes in as Jack stumbles through the wreckage. He comes closer to the plane. Boone races up to hand Jack a handful of pens. "I don't know which one would work best," he says. Jack kindly takes them and pronounces them "all good," thanking Boone. We get an extremely long close up of Boone, clueless but kind. We then follow Jack as he sorts through some luggage, pulling a sewing kit out of a bag.

Jack walks inland. He removes his coat, and it is that point that we discover by the large blood stain on his shirt that Jack is hurt as well. It makes his mad rescuing on the beach even more noble or crazy (or both). He saved at least four people out there by my count, not to mention others who he might have saved by giving them a purpose that got them to move away from the plane. He strips his shirt off and examines the wound, but it is in an awkward place along his back and side. Kate emerges at this point. If she was there earlier in the wreckage scenes, I didn't see her. She is cupping her wrists (thinking about recent handcuffs, perhaps?). Jack calls to her. Kate eyes him warily. He asks her if she can sew. She seems confused, but then finally tells him she made the drapes in her apartment. He shows her what he wants her help with, and Kate pales. She says with the drapes it was a sewing machine. Heh. How could we have known this proper, pretty lady who is nervous about sewing Jack up could have the past that she does?

Jack instructs her to wash her hands with some of the alchohol from the small airplane bottle, leaving some for his wound. She pulls out the thread. "Any color preference?" He laughs, then tells her standard black. It smarts.

We cut to Sawyer, who is pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. It's kind of weird to see now, because at this point, we really don't see anyone smoking on the island. The island provides heroin, but not nicotine. It has its odd quirks. But I digress. This is the first time we Sawyer--if he was in the background earlier, I didn't see him. Sawyer is contemplating the wreckage, looking very much like the Marlboro man. The sun is setting now. Claire stands at the edge of the shore, water lapping her feet. She touches her stomach, thinking about the baby that she was planning on giving away. Hurley gathers food. Locke sits looking out at the ocean. He has had a miracle happen to him today. Boone is walking around attempting to get cell phone reception. Sorry, hon, you see there is this hatch underwater that jams all communication off the island...oh, well, never mind, you can't hear me. Sayid comes into view with some firewood. It's strange that some of these characters that are so important to us are here only in small glimpses in the pilot.

Charlie is sitting on the ground near the fire, and Sayid calls to him, asking what his name is. Charlie and Sayid introduce themselves to each other. Sayid tells Charlie that they need help with the fire. It turns out that it is a signal fire, and Sayid is worried no one will see the fire if it isn't big. Sayid is a good leader. Rose sits nearby, kissing what looks to be a ring.

Meanwhile, Kate is still stitching up Jack, although threatening to throw up on him. Jack continues to encourage her. Kate wonders why he isn't scared. He tells her that fear is strange, and then tells her a story about his first spinal surgery of a young woman. Something terrible happened towards the end of the surgery. The terror was so real, but Jack says he made a choice. He said he let the fear take over for five seconds, counted, and then it was gone. Kate tells Jack she would have run for the door. Kate isn't telling lies. Off island, running was her main way of dealing with fear. Jack doesn't believe her. "You're not running now."

It's night now. Sayid and Charlie are sitting side by side. It's funny, I don't remember the two of them having this much interaction. Charlie is writing "FATE" on the tape on his left fingers. Sayid calmly says, "You think they would have come by now." Charlie asks, "Who?" Sayid replies, "Anyone."

Shannon is painting her toenails. Boone tenderly comes up to Shannon and offers her a candy bar, but she scoffs: "As if I'm gonna start eating chocolate." Boone tells Shannon they might be there for awhile. She continues to berate him, calling him an idiot and saying that they are coming. She refuses the proffered candy bar multiple times, telling Boone she will eat on the rescue boat. He gives up and starts to eat the darn candy bar himself. I remember there was a lot of speculation at this point when it was first airing about whether they were a couple or siblings. Little did we know...seriously, this whole revisiting recap could be all about the "little did we knows," but I won't get out of control.

Hurley comes up to Claire. "Hungry?"He gives her a food packet and checks to see if there has been any baby developments. There haven't, but Hurley ends up giving Claire two more packets of food. "Hang in there." I love Hurley.

We cut to Michael. "You sure you're warm enough?" His son, Walt, nods. We cut to Jin and Sun. Jin is lecturing Sun in Korean, telling her she must not leave his sight. "Don't worry about the others. We need to stay together," he tells her. She nods, looking in all aspects like the submissive wife, but there is something expressive in her eyes. These two are some of my favorite people on the island, and I'm sure I would not have guessed it when I first saw this scene (other than the gee-whiz wow factor of it illustrating that this show was going to follow people who might not speak English).

Kate stands over a seriously injured man, watching Jack do his work. She must have been following him around playing nurse to his doctor all evening. The man is the marshal who she was arrested by. Again, we don't know this yet. She asks Jack if he is going to live. Jack realizes something is off and asks if she knows the man. Kate answers, "He was sitting next to me." True, but not the whole truth.

We cut to Jack and Kate sitting by the fire. Jack has made this ridiculous model airplane out of a big leaf to illustrate his recollections of the crash. It's awesome. They were at 40,000 feet, then must have dropped to 20,000 feet. The turbulence was bad. Jack blacked out. Kate says she didn't...she saw the whole thing and knew that the tail was gone, but couldn't look back. Then the front end of the plane broke off. Jack points out that neither of those parts of the plane are on the beach. Jack wants to figure out which way they came in, in order to try to find the cockpit. He thinks they might find some equipment there to send a signal off of the island and help the rescue party find them. Apparently he took a couple flying lessons at some point. Kate says she saw some smoke in the valley, and if he is going for the cockpit, she's going with him. At this point, Jack realizes he has been hanging out with this hot woman all day who stitched up his flesh and he hasn't even introduced himself. Sheepishly, he tells her he doesn't know her name. They introduce themselves. I forgot how much chemistry the two of them had early on the season. It feels like we haven't seen a lot of that recently, maybe because they just haven't been in the same place much.

Then they hear a weird sound coming from further in the island and turn to look. Locke turns to look. Walt turns to look. Boone and Shannon jointly turn to look. Shannon asks, "What was that?" Sayid and Charlie get up to check it out. Charlie says, "That was weird, right?" Walt asks, "Is that Vincent?" Michael answers that it isn't. Rose is at the edge of the forest and Claire is behind her. A tree falls over in the distance. Claire turns and asks if anybody else saw that. Hurley did. All aforementioned characters gather to stare out at it. Sawyer, Jin, and Sun are in the background of the group. More trees are knocked over. "Terrific," mutters Charlie sarcastically, as the screen cuts to black.

We cut back to the first, and only, flashback of the Pilot, Part I. It is Jack's flashback. We are looking out an airplane window at a serene sky view. Jack's window overlooks the left wing. Cindy, the flight attendant, asks Jack how his drink is. He replies, unconvincingly, that it is good. Cindy says in a flirtatious voice that his reaction isn't very strong. Jack responds it isn't a strong drink. Cindy really likes him, so she sneaks him two small bottles of the hard stuff, telling him not to tell. Jack smiles and says, "This of course breaks some critical FAA regulations." Jack pockets one bottle, which we saw earlier that he will use it when Kate stitches him up. He pours the rest into the remains of his orange juice.

Jack gets up from his window seat...to go to the bathroom? Rose is sitting across the aisle from Jack. They had two empty chairs and the aisle between them. Charlie runs by and a number of flight attendants run after him. Jack can't get out. Rose comments he must have really had to go. Jack sits back down, a seat closer to Rose. The plane experiences turbulence, and Jack buckles his seatbelt. An announcement comes across the intercom announcing that the pilot has switched on the fasten seatbelts sign. Rose is very nervous. Jack assures her that this is normal. She agrees, saying that she just has never been a good flier. Looking over her shoulder towards the tail section of the plane, she comments, "My husband keeps reminding me that planes want to be in the air." Jack thinks he must be a very smart man. Rose snorts that he should tell him that when he gets back from the bathroom. Jack, always trying to fix everything, tells Rose he will keep her company until he gets back. The plane starts to go down and the oxygen masks pop out.

The flashback ends, and we focus in on Jack on the beach the next morning. A crowd of people behind him are discussing the incident of the night before. They have decided it doesn't sound like an animal. A woman, I think perhaps Rose, thinks it sounds familiar. She is from the Bronx. Charlie thinks it is monkeys. Hurley points out they technically don't even know if they are on an island. Kate comes up behind Jack and asks if he is ready. Jack tells Kate that she should show him where the smoke was, so he can get there himself. This is the first documented instance of Jack telling Kate not to come on an adventure in order to protect her. Oh, Jack. Kate insists she is coming. Jack tells her that she will need better shoes, and Kate goes and takes shoes off of a corpse. This morbid necessity reminds us of what just happened. She looks up and sees Locke watching her, a slash on the right side of his face. He smiles, an orange in his mouth making the smile into a strange grimace. Kate is very creeped out by him.

Many survivors have gathered into small circles on the beach. One circle contains Michael, Walt, Charlie, Shannon, Boone, and Sayid. Hurley comes from the fuselage to join them. They are apparently still talking about whatever it was from the night before. Michael says, "Whatever it was, it wasn't natural." Charlie wants sunblock, and Shannon has some that she offers him. Hurley says it was pretty grim in the fuselage, and he thinks they should perhaps do something about the bodies. Seeing Walt, instead of saying the key word, Hurley spells it. However, he spells it "b-o-d-y-s" to the puzzlement of the entire group. Michael asks, "What are you spelling, man, bodies?" Walt correctly spells the word. Abysmal spelling aside, I'm struck that this is the second case of self-initiated leadership we have seen Hurley make in the first part of the Pilot episode alone. Sayid concurs that it sounds like a good idea. Shannon thinks they shouldn't do anything, that the people who come for them will deal with it when they get there.

Jack shows up at the edge of the circle and informs the group of his plan to look for the transceiver to send a distress signal. Sayid and Boone nod agreeably to the plan. Charlie looks speculative when the cockpit is mentioned. Jack instructs Boone to keep an eye on the wounded. If the guy in the suit (aka the marshal, but again, they don't know that) wakes up, he needs to be kept calm and not remove the shrapnel. Boone asks about the guy with the hurt leg, and Jack says his leg stopped bleeding and Jack took the tourniquet off the night before. Boone tells Jack that he did a good job, but you can see he is kind of disappointed that Jack is the big hero and in charge. Charlie offers to come with Jack and help him, and Jack quickly tells him he doesn't need anymore help. Charlie says he doesn't want to stand still, so Jack reluctantly agrees for Charlie to come along.

Jack, Kate, and Charlie walk through across a meadow. Charlie seems familiar to Kate, but she can't place him. Charlie is thrilled, and after drawing it out for awhile, he reveals he is the bassist of the band "Drive Shaft" and did backing vocals. Kate is astonished. Her friend Beth loved "Drift Shaft." Charlie offers to call Beth and asks if she lives nearby. This is pretty much the funniest scene in this episode. Charlie's enthusiasm, Kate's incredulity and persistance on referring to "Drift Shaft" in the past tense, and Charlie singing the song all come together in a wonderful humorous scene. When Jack comes back to see what is going on, he has never heard of "Drift Shaft." Jack reminds them that they have to keep moving, with Charlie petulantly telling Kate that "Drive Shaft" is in the midst of a comeback. Vincent watches their progress from the bushes.

Meanwhile back on the beach, it thunders as Locke looks out on the waves. We cut back to Jack, Kate, and Charlie as it starts to rain heavily. "Hey guys, is this normal?" asks Charlie. "This kind of day turning into night, the-end-of-the-world type weather? Guys?" Back on the beach, survivors run for cover as Locke continues to sit out in the rain. Jin gestures a man away who wants to share his shelter with Sun. Sun looks unhappy. Hurley tells people they shouldn't go into the fuselage because of the bodies. Michael puts a comforting hand on Walt's shoulder. Locke throws his arms out, palms outspread to the sky as it continues to pour. Some more trees move in at the island. Claire states, "There it is again."

Our expedition of three comes upon the front of the plane in the rain. They stare at it for a moment, and then Jack nudges them to get started. There are dead bodies inside. Charlie suggests they get "the transceiver thing" and get out of there. The front of the plane is tilted, so they have to climb to get to the front. The door to the cockpit is locked, so Jack has to force it open. A body falls through, startling everyone. Jack makes sure Kate is okay. She is, but Charlie is annoyed that no one asked him if he was all right. He informs them,"Charlie's fine, by the way."

Jack tells Kate she doesn't have to come up into the cockpit, which is the second time Jack has recommended she stay behind. Kate tells him she is good, and she grabs his hand to be pulled into the front. Kate asks what a transceiver looks like, and Jack tells her it looks like a complicated walkie-talkie. Man, wait until they see the gizmos the Freighter Four have in season four. As they are looking for the transceiver, the pilot gasps to life, scaring both of them. Jack gives him water and goes into doctor mode. The pilot asks how many survived, and Jack says at least 48 did. Jack thinks he may have a concussion.

The pilot relates that six hours in, the radio went out and "no one could see us." He says that they turned back to land in Fiji, but by the time they hit turbulence, they were a thousand miles off course. He thinks that they are looking for them in the wrong place. He gets the transceiver, but it isn't working. At this point, Jack and Kate notice Charlie is missing. Kate goes looking from him, and Charlie bursts out of the bathroom. Kate asks what he was doing in there, and Charlie plays dumb. The monster sound returns, and the pilot wants to know what the heck it is. They hide, and when it quiets, go to look out. The pilot crawls out an open window only to be grabbed by it. Everyone is screaming. Blood splatters the window. Charlie wants to know what just happened.

The monster somehow moves the plane, causing it to fall over flat. Jack continues to be heroic and reaches for the transceiver. Kate and Charlie both try to convince him to leave the transceiver and get out of the plane. Jack manages to grab it, and they all exit quick, running through the pouring down rain in the jungle. Charlie falls in the mud and gets caught on a vine. Jack runs back and frees him from the vine. That's another person that Jack potentially saved from certain death. No wonder he gets tired. Kate stops alone, and then screams out Jack's name. She whimpers, and then counts to five.

Charlie comes up behind Kate, saying her name. They both scream, and fall in the mud with Kate on top of Charlie. Kate interrogates Charlie about where Jack is. Charlie has no idea and keeps repeating that he fell and Jack pulled him up. He says he was dead and then Jack pulled him up. It stops raining. Kate tells Charlie that they have to go back for him. Charlie protests that there is a certain gargantuan quality about this thing. Kate tells him not to come. Charlie thinks about it, but then follows her.

Charlie tells her he heard her shouting Jack's name, and reminds her of his name. Charlie had such a crush on Kate right after the crash. Kate ignores him. The two of them find a pin of wings on the ground. Looking up, they see the pilot. Jack comes out of the bushes. Jack didn't see...oh, let's just call it the monster, for lack of a better term...he didn't see the monster either, but it was right behind him as he dove into the bushes. Charlie wonders how something like that can happen. The pilot is in a tree, looking pretty mangled. An online friend of mine thinks that he looks chewed on and that this is proof that the writers don't know what the monster is. I think it's up in the air...he could have been just seriously bashed around. Maybe I just like trusting the writers have a plan.

It's the end of Pilot, Part 1! Next post I will sum up what I learned or remembered after rewatching this episode.

Rewatching LOST - A Diabolical Plan!

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 01:43:45 GMT

In honor of season four of lost airing and being, well, so outrageously awesome I have decided to rewatch the entire series of LOST so far!

LOST is one of those shows that just gets better on repeated viewings. Now, the ambitious part is I'm going to write detailed recaps of all of the episodes (never fear, LJ friends, I will place them behind cuts).

I also plan on doing "quote" entries by character. I might do entries highlighting certain recurring mysteries and/or topics.

It should be amusing to see how quickly I give up on this plan.

LOST: 815 Contradictory Theories...Only 23 today

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 05:18:03 GMT

My favorite show on TV is the brilliant, emotional, intellectual, puzzling, gutsy LOST. It's a really smart show that bears up under repeated viewings; in fact, you get more out of it the more you watch the episodes. It's both a character show and plot-driven show. It's a show about each individual character's inner conflict. It's also a show about how each individual meshes or clashes with the others around them. It's a show about faith, science, reasons, coincidences, fate, choices, starting over, redemption, time, mistakes, and oh-so-many other things. It's really a show you have to spend time with to get the most out of it.

Since it's a thinking show with lots of mysteries that it sets up, it's also a show where every two seconds I come up with a theory to explain whatever current mystery onscreen. However, none of the theories I have explain everything, and many of my separate theories completely contradict each other. Some of the theories probably contradict things the writers have said about the show. So, for fun, here's 23 LOST theories I have bounced about in my head at one time or another:

23 Contradictory LOST Theories, February 2008

1.) The black smoke monster is a cloud of nanobots that can coalesce into physical manifestations of anything or anyone it wants.
2.) There are multiple parallel alternate universes, and the island is a meeting point for these universes.
3.) In one parallel universe, the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 actually did die.
4.) If Desmond can change the past, we could potentially go back in time and save people who died like Charlie.
5.) Desmond did change the past already, and in the original version, everyone on Flight 815 died...so everyone will die at the end of the show when the universe corrects itself.
6.) Walt caused the plane to be sucked towards over the island, because the island recognized he was special.
7.) The immortal-like "others" are people from the future.
8.) The immortal-like "others" are androids.
9.) The island is real, but everything on it is a virtual reality construction. The survivors were reconstructed after the crash and had computer chips implanted in their minds to try to figure out what they want. So they are basically rats in this giant experiment/rat cage constructed out of their collective consciousness.
10.) The survivors that we know from the crash all died, but the island created android bodies that were so real, it is as if they are alive. The same goes for those who were in the hatch. Don't ask me why certain other people who die seem to (mostly) stay dead.
11.) The people on the plane were mostly handpicked to crash as some sort of experiment or test by some sort of a long reaching conspiracy that crosses multiple corporations and offices. Death of some or all of the survivors was an acceptable risk.
12.) Libby was part of a conspiracy that involves one or more of the people on Oceanic Flight 815.
13.) Once you have been on the island, you cannot really leave the island.
14.) The Adam and Eve skeletons of the first season will end up being someone we know due to some sort of weird time travel/time loop.
15.) Completely ignoring that the writers say this is a science fiction show and everything can be explained by science, how about this one: the island is the original Garden of Eden cut off from the rest of the world. The immortal-like "others" are actually other beings that used to live amongst us mentioned in the Bible, like those who came and walked amongst men (were they called seraphim?--the details escape me). The island holds the metaphorical Tree of Life and can revive the dead or cause immortality; it also holds the Tree of Knowledge which can cause good and bad things to happen as people start to know themselves and others. Also, somehow God or a god-like being fits into it (references to Jacob here might fit this theory, along with and biblical imagery).
16.) The island's magnetic fields unlock certain parts of our brains that we do not normally use, causing alarming effects like people to be able to self heal their bodies through their own belief and psychic abilities to manifest or be strengthened.
17.) The events on the island are manipulated by a human who has basically unlocked super powers that are dormant in most people's brains. R.E.M. sleep or drugged states can increase the effects of communicating with the island, so obviously natural mind barriers make it more difficult for the psychic behind the Island to communicate.
18.) Hurley isn't dreaming the island, but Jacob is. He is like Alice in Alice Through the Looking Glass when they see the sleeping king. There is this interesting point where Alice wonders who is dreaming the world...Alice or the slumbering king? The idea is that all of Wonderland depends on the dreamer continuing to dream, but the question is...who is dreaming this world and us? What happens when they wake?
19.) The dolls, trucks, and other toys seen around the island belong to Annie and Ben when they were growing up.
20.) The island is an intensive experiment in human rehabilitation, meant to try to save or redeem criminals.
21.) Anything that someone does off the island or before the crash is irrelevant. The crash kind of wiped the slate clean, so actions taken post-crash are more important to the Island (whatever/whoever it is) and its moral compass.
22.) An early group on the island dabbled with genetic experiments, creating the immortal-like "others."
23.) Women are barren and babies die on the island because the island wants to remain in control of all new life.

A Movie Version of Austen's "Emma" and Betty/Henry from "Ugly Betty"

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 05:30:18 GMT

I just watched the Gwyneth Paltrow movie version of "Emma" again. Now, Emma is a rather silly character, but the movie has that charm and romanticism that one can't help but love. Also, it contains all those oddball characters that Austen excelled at writing.

Recently, a few fans online seem to think our amazing heroine Betty from "Ugly Betty" should form a romantic attachment with the new recurring character of Gio. Good grief, what on earth are they thinking trying to find someone else for Betty, when she has someone as wonderful as Henry who is obviously her true love and worthy of her (more than worthy of her) in every way?

I could go on at length about how wrong Gio is for Betty, and vice versa, but I think I will start with the quote from the movie "Emma" that I think illustrates one of the first things we learned about Gio that illustrates how he is not worthy of her, while her true love Henry is quite her match!

Switch "Frank" for the name "Gio," and I think you will see what I mean with this quote:

"But I must tell you, that I quickly saw that Frank lacked qualities--honesty, being one of them--which are essential to me in any kind of friend."

I love how honest and open Betty and Henry are with each other, how moral, how supportive. They are true friends on top of the great chemistry they share. And those gazing scenes where they drop off into their own little world? Pure romance that is worthy of an Austen book (or movie).

Henry is just the kind of upright gentleman who is a modern day Mr. Darcy or Mr. Knightley, even down to his perfect posture. He is compassionate, intelligent, strong of character, romantic, and incredibly fervent. When Mr. Knightley says at the end of the movie version to Emma that "[m]aybe it is our imperfections which make us so perfect for one another," I couldn't help but think of my favorite romantic couple on TV of Betty and Henry. Only Betty took one look at Henry and saw how perfect he was, even in his nerdiness. Only Henry took one look at Betty and knew right away how beautiful she was inside and out. He doesn't care about her clumsiness or her glasses or any of that. He cares for her and loves her just as she is, right from the start.

So I have faith in their relationship. It is one of the sweetest, funniest, most romantic, most real, most beautiful on television today. I look forward to see Betty and Henry both realize their career goals and dreams. And I will be there throughout the seasons for the day when Henry (or Betty) says their equivalent of: "Marry me. Marry me, my wonderful, darling friend."

Recap for the Ugly Betty Episode "Nice Day for a Posh Wedding."

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 05:41:45 GMT

You know, I enjoy reading opinionated recaps, but I don't always agree with them. Just for fun, I decided I would try my hand at writing an extensive recap of the most recent episode of "Ugly Betty" called "Nice Day for a Posh Wedding." Overall, it is one of my favorite episodes of this season, although I think "A League of Their Own" might still be my favorite.

Here it goes, my first in-depth recap attempt:

PREVIOUSLY ON "UGLY BETTY" (said by Alan Dale before his character potentially dies):

Wilhemina has been doing the horizontal tango with her bodyguard Dwayne, which Betty found out when she decided it was okay to break into the den of the she-devil to get the Book. Wilhemina bribed Betty with an offer to make her father a U.S. citizen, as long as Betty didn't tell Daniel about Dwayne. This failure to mention Wilhemina's affair is being billed as the ultimate betrayal to Daniel, although none of us viewers can figure out why. Wilhemina has done a lot worse that Bradford knows about and he is still head over heels, and anyway, Daniel lies to Betty at least once an episode. Meanwhile, Christina's drunk, unpleasant husband tracked her down through her Internet dating site Bachelorocity, and Marc really screwed it up with new boyfriend Cliff when he introduced him to Amanda as only "a friend." Last we saw, he was grovelling big time. Wilhemina has made Victoria Beckham her Maid of Honor, because ABC likes hiring big guest stars to generate PR buzz. Finally, Hilda tells Betty to make the most of the time she has to spend with Henry, but they both decide they should hide it from their dad. Betty takes the leap and shows up at Henry's door, and Team Henry and Betty fans everywhere pass out in shock when they realize what is going to happen behind closed doors.

THIS EPISODE:

Justin is watching the countdown to the "Bradelmina" wedding on boob tube. Their couple name is "Bradelmina"? I really dislike combined couple names, sorry to all readers who use them, and the ickiness of this one just reinforces to me how much this match is not supposed to happen. When Ignacio, rightly, asks why Justin isn't getting ready for school, he claims it is a national holiday. Ignacio either believes this or doesn't care one way or another, and lets Justin continue watching TV. This kid seriously could get away with anything, as long as he says it with a smile.

Ignacio walks into Betty's room and tells her he know she hasn't had much of an appetite since this thing with Henry, but he made blueberry pancakes. A muffled voice that sounds like it might be Betty's answers "no thanks," but I'm not buying it, because Betty would never turn down pancakes. As Ignacio leaves, I am proven right, as the covers are whipped up to reveal Hilda. Adeptly, she wiggles her way over to the window, outside, and then back into her room. She's clearly had lots of practice covering for Betty's trysts with Henry recently, since she makes it all the way to her dresser where she is brushing her hair when Ignacio comes in to tell her about breakfast. Hilda is excited about the blueberry pancakes, and Ignacio is confused because he didn't tell her he made them. Instead of coming up with a good excuse, Hilda tells him he is getting senile. Ignacio decides to coax Betty out from under the covers with Canadian bacon, which is great, because we get to see Hilda wiggle her way over to Betty's room again. "I've got to get a life," she tells herself. I don't know, this is pretty amusing to me, and anyway, Hilda probably owes Betty for all the times she covered for her and Santos. As Ignacio tries to lure the faux-Betty out with bacon, the real Betty's hands and head appear in the window. Uh-oh, it's not the bacon that's out of the fire, into the frying pan now.

Marc is running around at work in full Wilhemina's assistant mode, freaking out and shrieking at people on the phone. It's kind as if Bridezilla had a gay assistant who is doing her work for her--oh, wait, it isn't kind of like that, it IS that. Hey! Our favorite photographer Cliff is back, and apparently he thinks it is really sexy when Marc goes into head voice. Marc is distracted by this for about a millisecond, but not for longer than that, because he's on his last nerve. The perfection of this wedding is not only at stake here, but so is the well-being of Marc's nipples. Wilhemina threatened to sand them off if any baby's breath show up in any of the floral arrangements. Cliff is kind of excited and tells Marc seductively he is not sure what to focus on, Marc mentioning the cake or his nipples. Also, has Marc seen his brown blazer? I'm thinking, yes, Marc saw his brown blazer. He saw his brown blazer as it went flying into the dumpster. Marc tells Cliff this wedding is so fancy that Armani is wearing Prada. I don't know anything about fashion, but this was a funny line regardless. Cliff points out that no one is going to be paying any attention to him. Marc, upset about mistakes he made in the seating chart, tells Cliff he can wear whatever he wants. Cliff is who he is, and Marc says he needs to accept his messiness. They flirt for a few moments longer, and then Marc dives back into work.

Bradford and Alexis are drinking Bloody Mary's in the office, because, why not? They're Meades; it's what they do. Daniel comes in, pointing out that maybe you shouldn't be drinking first thing in the morning, making a snide comment about his alcoholic mother in the process. Really, though, he's just hurt he wasn't invited to the party. Alexis says they are celebrating. They heard from ad sales. Daniel is excited, because he thinks his speech to That Girl! last episode is why the magazine was saved. Poor Daniel. Actually, it was Alexis that managed to dig them out of the hole with all of her contacts. I'm wondering how Alexis did this when she has the memory of a goldfish. She's very chummy with her dad considering all she remembered last episode about how he treated her as Alex, as Alexis, and then lied to her as amnesiac Alexis. Oh well, I guess her character's emotional continuity is too much to ask for. Bradford is so pleased he has decided to return Alexis back to the position of favorite son, even though she's now a daughter. He asks her to stand up for him at the wedding, much to Daniel's chagrin, since Daniel paid for his dad's bachelor party--"Mr. I-need-more-singles!" Ew, Bradford is such a schmoe. Alexis reminisces with Bradford over their favorite stripper Cheyenne. Daniel says if Bradford wants to make Alexis his best man, to just do it. Too little, too late, Bradford offers that both of his offspring stand up together. "Too Little, Too Late" would make a great song title or Meade family slogan. Alexis tries to make Daniel feel better and withdraw from the offer, but Daniel tells her, "You really shouldn't disappoint, Dad--it might kill him." Oh, tricky "Ugly Betty" writers--simultaneously having Daniel burn Alexis for attempting to murder their father last season AND foreshadowing for later in the episode. Alexis looks mildly guilty.

Cut to Marc watching raptly as Posh poses on television. Wilhemina is disgruntled because she is being upstaged by her own Maid of Honor, and it isn't made better by Posh insinuating that Wilhemina is old or hawking the Beckham sports drink. Marc reminds her, and the casual viewers, that real reason Wilhemina is getting married is to take over Meade publications and start her own fashion magazine. Wilhemina responds with the exposition that her plan is off track since Daniel and Alexis--she calls them "the dynamic duo Danny and the Tranny"--have managed to save the magazine by finding advertisers. Hey, Daniel, at least Wilhemina recognizes your efforts! Marc gives Wilhemina a pep talk that she doesn't understand, but she likes it because it sounds nasty. Marc gleefully tells her it is. We use Posh feeding the ducks on television to cut to the next scene...

Justin is raptly watching Posh feeding the ducks in Central Park on TV. Ignacio is huffing around the kitchen, and we find out from Betty he has apparently been giving her the silent treatment all morning. She wants to resolve their disagreement before she goes to work, but Ignacio says he has nothing else to say. He stands firm that the thing with Henry is foolish, and it isn't some big romance. In case the viewers have forgotten, he reminds us that Henry "got another girl pregnant"--they always make this sound like Henry is a sleaze bucket and not like it was something that was completely out of his control that happened during the time when he was actually dating that said girl. And when I say girl, I mean SLO. Thank you to America Ferrera for coining the term. Also, don't forget that Henry's leaving in five months! If you truly believe that, gentle viewers, I've got a bridge in Brooklyn I can sell you. Hilda feels it is inappropriate for Justin to be in the room while this discussion is happening, so she makes him go watch TV upstairs. I'm sure the F station is much more appropriate. Betty tells her dad she loves Henry, but as she tries to explain that she is making this decision with open eyes, he keeps cutting her off. Hilda tries to mediate for a moment, but quickly chickens out and removes herself from the argument when she realizes Ignacio's ire might fall on her as well. Betty and Ignacio have a classic father and daughter shouting-fest, mostly disagreeing over what age Betty is--13 or 23. Hey, at least they both end in the number three! Ignacio tells her she can't see Henry while she is under his roof, and Betty decides to move out. Hilda is upset and dramatically delivers, "Ay, why is everyone in this family so freakin' dramatic?"

Betty storms upstairs with Hilda following. Betty is very upset and angry at her dad for calling her a silly girl, and Hilda is trying to calm her down by pointing out that Ignacio has a temper and says things. And hoo boy, does he have a temper. She knows it firsthand from how he felt about Santos. Justin is kicked out of the room yet again, now supposed to watch TV downstairs. The master of eye rolls dramatically leaves the room. Betty points out that she held the family together after her mother died. Hilda says Ignacio is just scared for Betty, since she's doing something that is a little bit crazy. Betty doesn't care. She has always been the sensible one, but now she thinks she deserves to do something a little bit crazy, at least once. As Betty throws clothes into a suitcase that conveniently appeared out of nowhere in her room, she tells Hilda that she never even thought she would get a chance at real love, and that this might be it for her. Oh, Henry is definitely IT for you Betty, but don't give up on the dream of true love forever. I know I don't, or I wouldn't watch this show.

Betty and Hilda move downstairs, but Hilda is still trying to convince Betty to stay since Ignacio's citizenship ceremony is this Saturday. Betty blurts out that it is thanks to her that Ignacio is becoming a citizen at all. Hilda boots Justin back upstairs, and he finally exasperatedly calls her on playing ping-pong with her son. "You know what? If there was ever an argument for me to have my own TV--this would be it!" Throwing on her new post-"Wicked" coat, Betty tells Hilda what she did for their dad, but then tells Hilda to not dare tell him. What do you think are the odds on how quickly Hilda tells Ignacio? Hilda shouts "Betty!" after her as the "Ugly Betty" puzzle faces scroll across the screen. Commercials.

Amanda and Marc are walking together at MODE. Marc is doing something with wedding invitations, while Amanda is complaining that her fifteen minutes of fame as Fey Sommers' daughter is almost up. All these other celebrities are getting more press coverage than her, and she tells Marc she is just as classy as they are...she has "class coming out her pooper." Yeah. Right. None of her big dreams are being realized--the singing career, the Amanda doll, rehab. I'm not sure which prospect she is most excited about. I'm most excited about the Amanda doll. As Wilhemina snaps at him from the other room, Marc rolls his eyes. "Let me just get my oldest married off first," he tells Amanda, "-and then it is all about you." Amanda threatens him that it better be, or she will twist off his nipples with a wrench. Ouch. Marc walks away commenting, "Why the sudden interest in my boys?" Michael Urie. So robbed of both an Emmy nomination and win last year.

A good looking man walks into the lobby and busts out the Scottish accent on Amanda. Not being the brightest, she tells him he talks just like someone she knows, but she's not sure who that is. We know this is Stuart, the husband Christina ran way from. Is it my imagination, or does he look kind of interested in Amanda? We cut to the costume room. Christina is sitting looking fairly preoccupied but making appropriate fairy godmother noises to Betty. Betty rants about her fight with her dad and subsequent move out. Just before Betty begins to ask Christina if she can crash on her couch, Stuart walks in. Christina rushes Betty toward the secret love dungeon entrance, makes a flying leap, and the entrance opens. Christina explains that it is a secret sex room. Betty is excited, while I am really hoping that she doesn't decide to bring Henry here, because the last thing either of them need in their lives is to get exposed to the unsanitary conditions of this place, especially since it sounds like Amanda and Marc keep it in use. Before she knows what hit her, Betty finds out that her best friend has a secret sex room, secret husband, and a secret dog. "You totally trumped my whole dad thing!" Betty admits. Betty tells Christina that she can't hide in there forever.

Cut to Marc, Wilhemina, Vera Wang, and Victoria Beckham checking out the wedding outfits. Yet again, Posh is upstaging Wilhemina. She makes Marc feel tingly in places no woman has ever made him feel tingly before. I'm kind of disturbed by this confession. Unfortunately, Cliff isn't even there to hear this and be jealous. Wilhemina pushes Vera Wang out of the scene and redesigns Posh's dress to try to make it look bad.

Daniel walks in and notices Betty's huge suitcase. Betty quickly fills him in on how she is moving out due to her father's ultimatum about Henry, and to please not tell her that he told her so. They seem better than they were last episode, so they must have reached a compromise in the intervening time. Thankfully Daniel didn't go nuts and fire Henry. Daniel tells her he isn't the person to go to for relationship advice. Maybe you should have remembered that last episode, Daniel, when you were throwing your weight around and trying to control Betty's life. Both Betty and Daniel go into dual soliloquies delivered at the same time regarding their individual frustrations with their fathers, both ending with the phrase, "I'm not going." It's funny. Daniel has decided not to attend the wedding, and Betty has decided not to attend the citizenship ceremony. They are both pleased to have a friend that understands the importance of pretending to listen, even when s/he isn't. Betty walks out of Daniel's office, and Henry walks up. Hilda called him and told him what happened. Hilda is so on Team Henry and Betty! Tenderly, Henry tells Betty she will stay with him. Betty's eyebrows do that thing where they raise, and I wonder for a moment if she is going to say no, but then she smiles.

Cut to Christina and her husband, Stuart. We knew there had to be a reason that a catch like Christina married a guy like that in the first place, and it seems like it was mainly based on his looks. Stuart is laying on the guilt about her leaving him, even telling her that their dog Biscuit died three years ago. He claims that he is there to make amends as part of the healing process, that her leaving him helped him to realize he needed help. I don't trust him. Christina apologizes to him, too. "So do you think we can ever be friends, again?" he says gently. This is apparently hawt Scot for, "I want to jump your bones--will you let me?" Christina looks at him uncertainly. On the one hand, he was a terrible husband. On the other hand, she's not very good at saying no to sex.

Cut to Henry's apartment, which is really cozy. Henry's moving in Betty's suitcase and chattering excitedly about dinner plans. Betty hovers uncertainly in the doorway. While she has been in Henry's apart before, she never brought a suitcase along, and it's occurring to her that this is a big step in their relationship. Plus, she has lived at home her whole life. Henry gives her a key. "What does it mean?" Betty asks. He tells her that it means she can open the door. Betty remains awkward as he tries to get her settled and kisses her on the cheek. He notices and asks why she is being weird. She tells him it feels different, but he thinks it is nice...finally they can stop hiding and be a real couple. This cheers Betty up, as she realizes they can plan things. They start talking about Christmas and embark on an amusing disagreement about where the Christmas tree should be placed. How can anyone not think these two should get together? They have been living together less than five minutes, and they are already that cute old married couple that everyone in a relationship wants to be someday. They attempt to plan Valentine's Day as well, with better results. Betty is thrilled to find out that the sushi place they first went to isn't a sushi place anymore, since she hates sushi. Henry is amused. As she unpacks, Betty suggests that in April, they can go see Hall & Oates. Henry face falls. He's not going to be in New York in April, and he's sad. He's not devastated about missing Hall & Oates, though, so much as having to leave Betty and get his heart broken. It takes awhile for Betty to realize what she said. Also devastated and sad, she races into the bathroom to unpack her toothbrush. Henry follows and knocks on the door. "Betty, that's the closet." Betty tells him she knows, but she just needs a moment. On opposite sides of the wall, they lean forlornly. I want Henry to crawl into the closet with her in a few minutes, but unfortunately, the scene ends. I'll pretend that is what happens after the cut. Commercials.

It's the morning after. Wilhemina is stretched out in lingerie in bed with Dwayne, the bodyguard. He is hopeful that he is going to get some. He totally would, but Wilhemina doesn't want her weave to get sweaty on her wedding day. She tosses him a bone, though, and let's him take a shower as long as he doesn't use the good shampoo. Wilhemina turns on the television to find out that her dowdy Maid of Honor gown has been revamped to look hot, and "Vicki B" wore it out on the town, stealing the spotlight again. And again, we use Posh on television to move into the next scene.

Posh is on the television set in the Suarez kitchen, but only Justin is paying any attention. Ignacio is trying to decide if he should just wear a flag pin on his blazer, or if he should also wear this atrocious flag tie. Justin tells him if he wears the flag tie, that Justin will leave the country. Hilda and Ignacio think Justin is joking, but he totally isn't. Justin turns off the TV and leaves the kitchen, not the country. It's like he has some sort of clairvoyance that Ignacio is going to complain about Betty again. And then Ignacio does. He says Betty lied to him and disrespected him, and she hasn't even called. He's messing about with his non-flag tie, and finally Hilda tells him to give it to her and starts fixing it herself. Hilda says Betty loves him, but Ignacio says that she isn't acting like it and all she is thinking about is herself. And about time that she think about herself for a change, I say. Hilda says, "You have no idea how much Betty has done for you." Oh, she kept the secret for a whole twenty-four hours! That's a long time for Hilda.

Cut to the love dungeon. It's the morning after for a different couple. Christina and Stuart are naked in bed. He's pumping her for information on how good he was, while last night he was pumping her with something else entirely. Christina admits it was a mild improvement because he didn't pass out drunk halfway through. He also gets her to admit she missed him "a wee bit." I still don't buy that he is really "good Stuart." As he goes to visit the loo, Christina reaches down to smell his shirt, and then finds a syringe in his bag. I knew it! "Bad, bad Stuart," she whispers.

Cut to Henry's apartment. Good, good Henry. It's the morning after for yet another couple, and they are the couple to end all couples. Henry and Betty are cuddled together in bed, their glasses side by side on the headboard above them. It's already one of the sweetest things I've seen on television, and the scene hasn't even started. Betty's cell phone buzzes on silent, and she fumbles around for her glasses, finding hers after she bumps into Henry's first. She puts on her glasses and checks the phone. A photo of her dad waving at her from his kitchen appears. Sighing, she sets down the phone. She's wearing a cute t-shirt with a sunflower on it and looks adorable. She rolls over in bed, still in Henry's embrace, caressing his arm and smiling at him sleeping. Half-asleep Henry wakes up, smiling. "Aw, you're awake," he says, sounding both happy and rueful. We get to see Henry's vulnerable side. He covers his mouth and tells her he was going to wake up early and sneak out to brush his teeth before she woke up. Betty rolls over to face him and pulls down his hand. "Don't be silly," she says, "You should be comfortable with who you are." They kiss. I love how this scene isn't just about Betty and Henry, it's really about the message of the show. This show has such heart.

Betty has been thinking about what they they are going to do together this Saturday, and gets ready to tell him her plans for breakfast. "Mmm," Henry says, reaching for his glasses so he can see her. She tells him there is a French place on Bank Street that has these cute little ducks above the awning, "and I have no idea what they serve, but the ducks are cute!" Henry strokes her back and with a very straight face, tells her that they serve baby ducks. "What?" Betty says, before realizing that he is teasing her. They laugh together, and kiss again. "Shut up," she says affectionately. My cheeks hurt too much from grinning. They sit up in bed, and Henry puts his arm around her as she throws random items out of her new grocery bag purse that she acquired this season. He is wearing a New York t-shirt. Betty thinks they could go on an adventure and holds out a brochure. "New York Transit Museum?" Henry exclaims, psyched. Betty says she knows what a fan he is of the subway system--see, she knows his favorite things, too! Also, apparently he had a supernatural experience with foggy glasses where he saw his Nana down on the third rail. America Ferrera's perfect delivery of the noncommital "Yeah, probably" in combination with Christopher Gorham's excited Henry face cracks me up. Henry agrees it would be fun, but then his face becomes sad. "What's with the face? You don't want to go?" Betty asks. "No, of course I do," Henry reassures her, "Who wouldn't?" Actually, Henry, probably pretty much every other character in the show wouldn't but you two, which yet again shows how perfect you are for each other. Henry thinks Betty should go to her dad's citizenship ceremony, but she tells him that she made her decision--today is about them, and she wants to do something crazy and fun. Our crazy and fun couple agree to go to the NY Transit Museum, and kiss again as the scene cuts. Is it creepy that I want to stalk them to the NY Transit Museum and see them being adorkable together?

Cut to Wilhemina watching television in bed. Daniel shows up knocking on Wilhemina's door to give back the rings to his father, but Wilhemina says she is an old-fashioned girl and he has a suite on a different floor. Daniel gives her the rings and says he won't be attending the wedding. Wilhemina makes a snide comment about doing the mother-son dance with Alexis, when the toilet flushes behind her. Wilhemina claims it is Posh, but Daniel is suspicious. He lurks in the hallway and watches as Dwayne leaves. Commercials.

After breakfast at the cute duck place, Betty and Henry are laughing and exiting the elevator on the MODE floor. They are positively glowing, so I think they probably played a game where they kissed for every floor they passed. Betty left a coupon for the NY Transit Museum in the desk, but Henry laughingly tells her he is willing to pay the extra ten bucks. Betty still wants it, though, because you also get a free shower curtain with a map of the subway system. Betty wants to get it for Hilda, because she apparently has trouble with A line and ends up at the Bronx Zoo more often than she needs. Hey, we always knew Hilda was the wild child. Henry pulls her back for another quick kiss, and as they smile at each other, they hear a noise. "Who's in Wilhemina's office?" Henry asks.

Cut to Daniel rooting around through Wilhemina's office like a hog searching for truffles. Henry and Betty covertly peek out from behind a filmy curtain that doesn't hide them at all. "Daniel?" Betty asks incredulously. "Betty! Henry! Hi!" Daniel says. Betty and Henry raise their eyebrows.

Cut to Christina, chewing Stuart out on graduating to worse drugs. Stuart tells her that it isn't what she thinks; he's sick. His liver is failing, and he only has six months to live, since he can't raise $100,000 for an experimental treatment. "Good news is, that in six months' time, you will be inheriting my mum's spoon collection." Christina wants his mum's spoon collection, but she wants him alive more. She tells Stuart if he stays in New York, she will find a way to get him the money. I still don't trust Stuart. He's sick, all right--sick for using Christina for his own nefarious purposes.

Cut to Henry waiting for Betty at her desk. He sees her "Wicked" mug and picks it up, kissing the rim. It's pretty much impossible to be more in love with each other than these two are. He bumps her keyboard accidentally, which activates her screensaver. There is a picture of the couple smiling somewhere outside, a picture of Betty in Guadalajara, and then a series of pictures of her family. Henry looks contemplative. Meanwhile, Daniel is filling Betty in on his suspicions about Wilhemina, but she can't corroborate them. She is still worried that her dad will be deported. She urges Daniel to go this father with his suspicions, but Daniel says his father won't believe him. Betty tries to reassure Daniel by telling him the bodyguard is dumb. He doesn't know the difference between mute/moot. Unfortunately, her example of the bodyguard's dumbness is actually a mistake Daniel made. "I get it now," Daniel tells her. "Well, he's dumb, too," Betty says. She realizes that she's not making it any better. This is funny again. Daniel actually has more funny moments this episode than he normally does.

After a quick montage of scenes from New York, we end up at the pre-wedding reception where Amanda is informing everyone she is Amanda Sommers, Fey Sommers daughter. No one cares. Marc is very nervous, because this party is the debut of his boyfriend, Cliff, and he has no idea what Cliff is going to show up looking like. Then Cliff makes his entrance, and suddenly the soundtrack comes from Marc's mind. "I believe in miracles...you sexy thang." It's quite funny. Cliff does clean up nice, although I personally preferred it when he had the mop of curls. Marc shouts, quite literally, to everyone that Cliff is his boyfriend. He also says that who knew there was hardwood floors under that shag rug. I could make a comment about "hard" and "wood" right now, but it's probably best left unsaid. After Henry, I think Cliff is the sweetest boyfriend in the world. He's really uncomfortable. "Beauty is pain, Cliff," Marc says. "And you are hurting me bad." Yow. Sexy couple. Cliff does the cute eyeroll thing, the same one that Betty does sometimes, like when she told Henry he was a dork last season.

Cut to Betty and Henry in front of the courthouse. Henry has brought Betty there to attend Ignacio's citizenship ceremony. He tells her they can go to the NY Transit Museum another day. She's angry at him, but he tells her that pretending she can live without her family is just an act. "I've seen you guys together; you're like this." He crosses his fingers to show how tight the Suarez family are with each other. "And when I leave, they're going to be the ones who are here for you." He's so tender. I'm incredibly sad to think of Henry leaving. Commercials.

Back at the wedding party, Amanda is scoping out the crowd for old guys that may be her father. Marc is getting jealous, because he thinks Cliff is flirting with one of the waiters while seductively sucking on a lambchop. We get to see this apparent seductive sucking, and Cliff obviously isn't flirting, he's just eating. Marc gestures for Cliff to come over, but Cliff gives Marc "the one minute finger." Marc and Amanda are shocked. "Dee-nied," Amanda says, getting ready to take a photo of it with her cell phone camera. Marc slaps her hand.

Cut to Ignacio at his citizenship ceremony, giving his vows. He looks really proud, and Hilda looks very emotional. Justin looks emotional, too, because he is keeping up to date on the wedding with his phone and found out that Gwyneth wore white to the ceremony. Betty walks in the door, and Ignacio sees her out there and tears up. She smiles tremulously across the room at him.

Back at the wedding, Marc shows up between Cliff and the waiter. Cliff tries to introduce them, but Marc says, "Don't care" and throws away Cliff's lambchop, dragging him away. "That was rude," Cliff says. Get used to it, you're dating Marc. Marc accuses him of tramping it up with the waiter with clearly waxed eyebrows. Cliff says that Tony, the waiter, insists he was born with the perfect Joan Crawford arch. Marc scoffs, and gets ready to argue that Joan wasn't born with eyebrows like that, when he remembers he is mad at Cliff. "Wait, a minute--I'm angry!" Cliff can't figure out why he is angry, especially since the guy is just a client he works with, they're just friends, and to top it off, the dude is straight. Maybe we can hook Tony up with Amanda. Unimpressed with reason, Marc still remains insanely jealous, remaining skeptical that Tony is heterosexual because he is a model. Don't stereotype, Marc. Marc winds himself up so much that not only does he not listen to Cliff, he breaks up with him. And Hilda thought the Suarez family was dramatic. "This thing between us--it's over!" Marc declares. At that point, a photographer comes by and they pose as a happy couple for the camera together. Priceless. Marc prances off before Cliff can say anything in response, and Amanda does this gesturing thing with her hand at Cliff that is impossible to describe in words, but hi-waitforit-larious.

Cut to Daniel coming up to the outside of Wilhemina's door. Wilhemina must still be worried about her weave, because surprisingly, Dwayne actually looks like he is doing his job. He stands guard outside her door. Daniel approaches him smoothly. "So, D-dawg," he says. Okay, maybe not so smoothly. Has he been hanging out with our second favorite Meade accountant Kenny? Daniel tells Dwayne he must get a lot of action--a "big, strong, good looking guy like you." Dwayne asks if Daniel is hitting on him. If there were any Daniel/Dwayne shippers out there, they would be squealing with joy. The thing with Daniel is that he really has two main modes--little boy and playboy. With most people, when he wants to try to charm them, he tries to sell them with the playboy smile. I don't blame Dwayne for assuming. Daniel then offers him a blank check for him to tattle on Wilhemina, but unfortunately, he left the checkbook at home. Wilhemina comes out. She dramatically builds up to the reason why Daniel can't go to his father. "You know why you can't?" she asks rhetorically. Dwayne answers, "He has no proof." Dwayne, much like Daniel, is actually smarter than he looks at first. Wilhemina snaps, "Dwayne! I was building up to that!" She concurs with his reason, though, and then smugly tells Daniel she will see him at the altar.

Back at the wedding, Marc is whining to Amanda that now that Cliff is the hottest man in the room, he thinks he is too good for Marc. Amanda is baffled. She says that while she did like the new suit, it only made Cliff 15% hotter. Marc wants to know if that is the case, then why is every waiter serving Cliff food and every bartender serving him drinks? Marc is really cute jealous. Amanda suddenly gets it. Marc has fallen for this guy Cliff. Sometimes it takes her a little longer than others to work these things out. "Ohmygawd, it's happened. You're looking past the OUTSIDE, and seeing what's on the INSIDE." Amanda is shocked, saying, "You're falling for an average man." I really don't think Amanda is one to judge, since she falls for anyone who smiles sideways at her and crooks his finger her direction. Marc's asthma acts up as he realizes he is an average man-lover. He asks Amanda what he should do. Amanda's inner romantic kicks into gear, and she tells him he should accept it. "You are deeper than you think. It's okay. We all have flaws." She has a complete Diane the hygienist moment, imagining Marc running after the airplane and busting through security, shouting,"Cliiiiiiiiff!!!" Marc is getting into the fantasy, too, but since Amanda actually called Cliff's name while she was telling this story, Cliff turns around and looks at them, nowhere near any airplane. "You calling me?" Amanda gives back for all those times that Marc was her relationship counselor, and she recommends Marc go talk with Cliff. Marc walks over and hugs Cliff, who reciprocates. They have fallen for each other despite themselves.

At the citizenship ceremony, Ignacio and Betty apologize to each other--Ignacio for being harsh and forgetting his little girl is a woman, and Betty for hiding her relationship with Henry from her dad. She is going to continue to be with Henry, and she wants her family to be there when he leaves and she falls apart. She looks across the room at Henry, who is making friends with the new citizens. I think Kenny must have taught him how to bump fists with his friends. Hilda remains emotional about the scene, much to Justin's disgust. She makes him go back to watching TV on his cell instead of mocking her. Betty agrees that she is coming back home. Ignacio tells her that he knows what Betty did to make him a citizen. "Hilda sucks at secrets," Betty says with irritation. Hilda gives a Daniel Meade-like thumbs up at Betty from across the room. Ignacio says that she can't betray her friend for him, and points out that now that he is a citizen, nothing is stopping her from supporting her friend.

On a mission, Wilhemina goes to get married. Posh either flaked, or Dwayne locked her in a changing room. Either way, the wedding must go on. Recognizable guests include the media, Daniel, Amanda, Marc, and Cliff. Alexis is standing up as best woman behind Bradford, who looks giddy with happiness. I kept hoping that Bradford really was smarter than I thought and was planning to turn the tables on Wilhemina, but it looks like he really has bought her story hook, line, and sinker. The priest barely gets started before Betty crashes the wedding. "I object!" she shouts. The priest says that they haven't gotten to that part yet. Commercials.

Daniel and Betty stand in the foyer. Daniel says he knew that Wilhemina was cheating on his father with the bodyguard, but he needs details so he can have proof. Betty admits she saw them four months ago. How time passes in TV land. Daniel proves how much he is like his father, and completely doesn't let her explain the extreme circumstances that lead her to delay bringing this news to him. Daniel, also like his father, thinks that the best course to go with people is to go on a power trip, shout at them, and fire them when his feelings get hurt. Bradford offered to do this with Sofia Reyes last season, but at least she sort of deserved it a bit more. We saw Daniel's tendency to do this earlier this season when he fired sandwich-maker Gio, along with his threats to fire Henry. So, without further ado, Daniel accuses Betty of betraying him and fires her. Oh, please. I'm not surprised, nor especially concerned, because the show would end if she stopped working at MODE. Daniel can be such a jerk at times.

Daniel goes to interrupt the ceremony. Bradford lets him, following him out. Wilhemina tries to get married without Bradford, but she is told that it doesn't work that way. "Do something," she hisses to Marc. Marc has a flash of brilliance and announces to everyone that Amanda will sing a song. She panicks. "La la la la la," she sings. At Marc's urging to do something more exciting, she starts to sing "Milkshake," and it's really funny.

Outside, Bradford and Daniel pace in the hallway. Bradford thinks Daniel is just doing this because he will do anything to poison Bradford's relationship with Wilhemina. Daniel is exasperated, telling Bradford that he is the only person who is willing to be honest to him and saying that Betty saw them together. Bradford asks if she saw them, then where is she? Oh-ho. Karma came back and bit you, didn't it, Daniel? Bradford's blood pressure is on the rise, and he stalks back into the wedding.

Amanda now has organ accompaniment to her version of "Milkshake," which has become even more hilarious while we have been away. Some people are actually starting to get really into it, especially guys. Maybe it's Amanda's handkerchief dress and strutting. Dwayne loves it. Amanda/Dwayne shippers everywhere get excited. Marc tries to start the wave, and to support, Cliff pitches in. Amanda's song is cut off when Bradford returns. The seed of doubt has been planted, though, and as Bradford looks from Wilhemina to the bodyguard, he goes into cardiac arrest. Daniel shouts for someone to call 911. As Marc does, Wilhemina goes into a fit and pounds on Bradford's chest shouting, "Don't you dare die!" Alexis drags her off, and Daniel starts to perform CPR. I wish they had figured out something to do with Bradford other than kill him off. At home, the Suarez family sits and watches the whole thing on television. In the streets of New York, Betty also watches it up on the big screen.

That's all for this episode, folks! The next episode, Bradford clings to life, Wilhemina tries to marry him, Betty and Henry go on adventures--yay!, and Betty is most likely forced to stay at MODE by deathbed promises.

Introduction

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 19:14:41 GMT

I made this journal awhile ago to share my opinions, recommendations, analyses, and reviews on all the forms of entertainnment that I enjoy, from books to television to movies. Since I am home sick today, I thought I would introduce the journal properly.

I'm a very verbose person, but normally on forums and in day to day conversation, I try to reign it in a bit. However, in this journal I reserve the right to write as long as I want on all forms of entertainment and be very opinionated, more so than I am in daily conversations about these sorts of subjects. If you want me to review something, feel free to ask. I can't promise I will get to it, and I will reveal that it was requested of me, but it doesn't hurt to try!